And That Was....

American Idol 2010

I’ve got to be honest with you – American Idol this season was as disappointing as my first (and only) marriage.  With the exception of Crystal Bowersox – the talent pool for this year’s American Idol was about as deep a Paris Hilton Mensa test and about as satisfying as a frozen waffle; and if it wasn’t for this being Simon Cowell’s last season as a judge – there was really no other compelling reason to watch AI this year. 

Last year, American Idol had some exciting performers such as Adam Lambert and Chris Allen – this year it seemed like everyone who came out on stage to perform had an acoustic guitar – which doesn’t bode well for being really entertaining television.  We were spoiled with Lambert last year who showcased not only his talents as a singer but as a performer – this year we got either a coffee house performance or performances on par of a touring Broadway musical cast. 

It is my feeling that Crystal Bowersox was the only Idol performer who really gave everything that they had into every performance of the competition and it was only in the last couple of weeks that Lee stepped up his game, but he doesn’t come close to Bowersox in pure talent. I was pulling for ‘Big Mike’ to bust out – but he just didn’t have what it takes to cross over into that level of ‘I’m gonna blow you away’ and he was lucky to have lasted as long as he did.

Why did American Idol suck as badly as it did this year?  I’m shocked that I’m even going to admit to this, but I feel it all comes down to Paula Abdul and her appearance on this year’s season’s finale made me realize that even more.  With the producers not having signed Paula Abdul to a new contract before the season began – it resulted in producers devoted a lot of time in getting “guest judges” at all of the auditions that they didn’t have their eyes on the real prize of American Idol – the contestants.  I know that Paula’s comments on the judging panel were pretty laughable – but she did provide some kind of glue to the show that was desperately missing this year.

I would be remised in not mentioning Ellen DeGeneres arrival to the Idol stage as a judge.  I like Ellen.  I find Ellen’s daily talk show to be entertaining and there have been some classic comedy moments on the talk show – which really made me look forward to her arrival on the Idol stage, but even she has been a bit of a disappointment this season.  If you were to compare some of Paula Abdul’s lamest comments as a judge to some that Ellen made – Paula comes out more knowledgeable and credible in her comments than Ellen does. 

I’m Not Gonna Watch It…

I wrote a review of the Jerry Seinfeld produced TV show, “The Marriage Ref” and even though it has been a minor hit for NBC – I still refuse to watch it and I don’t give a damn how many marquee names he gets to come on the show to be a ref.  To me, “The Marriage Ref” sucks and when you allow crap like this to get an audience then don’t be surprised the networks throw more crap like this your way.

I have yet to watch Jay Leno since he returned to “The Tonight Show” and was thrilled to see him bomb at the recent Washington Correspondence Dinner.  I’m still of the opinion that Jay Leno stabbed Conan O’Brien in the back after his prime time show failed by going back to the “Tonight Show”.  Sure, Conan’s “Tonight Show” ratings were low – but so were Jay’s when he first hosted the show.  Jay – you should have manned up and walked after the prime time show tanked and not yank Conan out of his seat on the “Tonight Show” – you could have refused NBC’s offer to go back – but you didn’t.

I am also proud of myself that I didn’t tune in to “Good Morning America” or “Nightline” to see them interview Sandra Bullock’s soon-to-be ex-husband, Jesse James.  I don’t think that he can anything that is going to change my opinion of him being the biggest friggin’ douche bag jerk still sucking oxygen out of the air on this planet.  And if Dr. Drew should decide that he might want to get James to appear on an upcoming season of “Sex Rehab with Dr Drew” on VH-1 – I will boycott that show, too!   

What The…..

What the….!!!!!  It’s the only way I can describe how I felt when I visited my local Burger King restaurant and see the signs all over the place for ribs.  Yup, the King is now selling ribs – pork ribs at that – and they aren’t the pork processed ribs that McDonald’s has used for their McRib sandwiches…these are real bone-in ribs.  I have yet to try them – but they are a little pricey – because they’re a lot smaller than the ribs that you might find at Applebee’s.  But, let’s be honest with each other – who really is going to buy bone-in ribs from a drive-through burger restaurant who wants you to “have it your way”? 

With all of that said – that’s going to do it for now.  Until we meet again via the written word....keep the grin above your chin and good thoughts in your head.

I've Had It Up To Here....

Blame it on a around-the-clock cable news, cell phones that allow us to capture a moment and publicize it to world instantly via the internet and a general pop culture overload – we, as a people, tend to get burnt out on a lot of things quicker than we use to. 

I don’t know how you feel….but I have had it up to here with news that Larry King, CNN talk show host and certified geezer, is getting a divorce.  Let’s be realistic – Larry King getting a divorce for the seventh or eighth time really shouldn’t qualify under the category of   news.  Larry King staying married longer a double run of his night time TV show is news.  You see, Larry gets a divorce just like he buys suspenders.  When Larry’s favorite suspenders don’t hold up his pants anymore he just throws them away and gets himself a new pair -- when his marriage starts to tank, he gets a divorce.  

It wasn't news when Larry King was able to sweet talk a beautiful woman into marrying him, but when that beautiful woman and Larry conceived a child together  that was news – only because the thought anyone having sex with Larry is so repulsive.  (Close your eyes and imagine Larry doing ‘the wild thing’ with a woman that’s young enough to be his first son’s girlfriend – are you choking on your own vomit at that thought?). 

Anyone who marries Larry King knows that like day leads into night -- marriage leads into divorce and I’ve had it up to here with people trying to convince me his divorce is news.  It’s not…I don’t care and I’ve had it up to here.

Next subject:  Jesse James

Let’s state the obvious:  Jesse James is an asshole.  You don’t marry America’s sweetheart, Sandra Bullock, and then cheat on her with some cheesy ass dancer/former model from an adult nightclub who has huge “factory installed air-bag boobs” and Nazi swastikas tattoos on her body.  You just don’t do shit like that, Jesse.  On top of that – you could have done something to prevent all this news coming out about you and your crazed sexual libido long before one of the biggest nights of Sandra’s life happened  – the night she won her first Academy Award.  C’mon Jesse, where’s your class! 

It’s not the fact that Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock that pisses me off – it’s a miracle that news of it didn’t come out any sooner – because when you look at his choice of mistresses – discretion wasn’t something he was concerned about and  it’s obvious that he will do the ‘nasty’ with just about anything.  His marriage to Sandra Bullock gave him a free pass in to a world of respectability, but he's done kissed that ‘respectability pass’ good-bye because of  his love of “Nazi F---king” 

The person that I feel sorry for in this whole ordeal is Sandra Bullock.  What did Sandra do to have to be humiliated by such as low-life cretin as Jesse James?  Absolutely nothing.  Bullock has literally been in hiding since the news of Jesse’s cheating came out and you know that one day she’s going to have to face the cameras and speak about this ugly mess that her “loving husband” has put her in.  She shouldn’t have to do it, but there’s not a whole lot she can do to avoid it. 

Meanwhile – there’s Jesse James and the stories of him being in some sex rehab in Arizona.     From me to you , Jesse – the Dr. Drew’s of this world can’t save your ass on this one.  You remind me of Nixon’s henchmen during Watergate era who used God and being “born again” to cleanse them from all of their crimes.  It didn’t work then and it’s not working now.  I’ve had it up to here on this one, Jesse, don’t go blaming screw-up on an addition -- own up that you’re an asshole and fall off the planet, ok?

I’ve also had it up to here with John McCain’s gift to the world that just keeps on giving and giving and giving – I’m talking about none other than Sarah Palin.  It’s nice to see a failed Vice-Presidential candidate go back to her home state and resign from her elected job as governor half-way in her term go make twelve million dollars last year talking how our elected representatives in Washington need to be booted out of office.  Yet, her supporters will tell us that it isn’t fair to criticize Mrs. Palin for not completing her term as governor, but she sure does love criticizing those politicians who work out the terms that their constituents elected them to.  

I also find it funny that Sarah Palin is always blaming “the mainstream media” about this and that – but when is she going to put two and two together and realize that her employment by Fox News now makes her part of the mainstream media.  If Fox News is the most popular news network (that’s what they call themselves) and they have the ratings numbers to back them up that they are more popular than MSNBC or CNN (two organizations that I consider “mainstream media”) then her employment by Fox makes mainstream just by association. 

And dear Mrs Palin – you don’t want your family criticized or attacked by the media – then do us a favor – don’t parade them on stage wherever you go like they’re part of the show.  If you use them to portray family values you better expect to be called out on it when that family of yours doesn’t live up to what’s being sold.

I have literally had it up to here – when it comes to anything and everything that is Sarah Palin – the sad thing is – Sarah Palin isn’t going to head into the political sunset for a long time – we can just hope that “gotcha” wink and a nod will catch up with her and she can live out her golden years in Alaska eating Moose fritters or something like that.  It's a nice thought -- until then...we're just gonna have to grin and bear it.