It's Only TV: Dancing With The Stars Goes Shotgun and Other TV News

A New Way To Vote For Your Dancing With The Stars Favorite –

You Just Kill Your TV Set

How many times have you been watching television and what you were watching pissed you off so much that you have wanted to throw a brick through the TV screen?  Or better yet – the program that you were watching pissed you off so much that you wanted to do an “Elvis” and pull out a handgun and kill you TV set with a couple of pulls on the trigger?  Well...someone has done just that and it took Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin’s appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” to put this guy over the edge.

An armed and intoxicated 67-year old Wisconsin man with bipolar disorder was watching “Dancing with the Stars” on Monday night and got a little angry by Bristol Palin’s appearance on the show – so angry that he fired a shotgun at his television set.  His wife got the hell out of the house and phoned the police to report the incident saying that her husband was also threatening to commit suicide.  It took the police fifteen hours to coax this man out of his house and charge him with second degree reckless endangerment and all it took was the site of  Bristol Palin on TV to do take him over the edge.  He felt that Bristol Palin was only on the show because her mother is somewhat famous (i.e.. former Republican candidate for Vice-President of the United States and half-term governor of the state of Alaska – as well as being a soccer mom and a famous Mama Grizzly) and that she wasn’t on the show for her dancing ability. 

Hey, I’m not bipolar, but I have to agree with this guy that the only reason that Bristol Palin is on DWTS is because of her Mother’s notoriety (as well as her being the unwed mother who now preaches abstinence) – the question this guy should have been asking before he blew the shit out of his television set is – how in the hell has she lasted this long?  Any one who has watched the show this season would have to agree that there have been far better dancers voted off this season than Bristol Palin.  I will give Palin credit for have improved herself on the dance floor since week one – but there is no way that she is a better dancer than former NBA star Rick Fox or pop singer Brandy (who was voted off this week). 

Personally, I would like to know who is voting for Bristol Palin?  Trust me – there are just as many people who can’t stand her Mother as there are people who think that she’s actually qualified to run for any kind of public office.  If the people who are voting for Bristol because of her mother – I want to know where the other half is on Dancing with the Star’s voting night?  Maybe Fox News will send out one of their fair and balanced news reporters to ferret out this story and report the truth.  Think again.

Trying To Make Something Old New Again

I was surprised to read on thewire.com about two “new” projects in the planning stages at Warner Brothers pictures.  One of the projects in the planning stages is a remake of the old NBC-TV show “The Man From U.N.C.L.E”.  Nobody has yet to be cast to play the roles that made Robert Vaughn and David McCallum famous – I just got to question why they are even attempting a big-screen version of this TV show.  UNCLE isn’t one of those old TV shows that people get nostalgic about – but Hollywood is also doing a big screen version of the TV show “Dallas” – so maybe they think we’ll see anything these days from television in the 70s and 80s.

The other project that Warner Brothers is working on is a remake of “The Wizard of Oz” with Roger Zemeckis (“Back to The Future” and “Forrest Gump”) on board as director.  No one has been cast for this remake.  I wonder if you’ll be able to watch this new version will be Pink Floyd compactable – like the old version is for some people who like to watch the movie with the sound down and using Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” as the movie soundtrack.

NBC Is Still Having a Bad Year In Prime Time

And They Can’t Blame Leno for This One

I have very few “must see” TV shows and it looks like one of them is about to be a victim of NBC’s incompetence at building a prime time schedule that people want to watch.  It was announced yesterday that NBC will be moving a few shows around in the hopes that people will discover them.  For example – NBC will be moving my favorite show “Parenthood” to Monday nights at 10 against one of CBS’s biggest hits of this season – the remake of “Hawaii 5-0”.  It doesn’t matter to NBC that the audience for “Parenthood” has been building week-to-week against some really tough programming Tuesday nights on ABC and CBS…they’re going to move the show anyway.  All I have to say is “dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb”.  When you have a show that is a fan of the critics and is a marginal hit with the viewers – you don’t move it and make viewers of the show search for it…you let the show build. 

NBC is also going to test how scripted comedy shows in the Thursday 10pm slot will do since their scripted dramas in the 10pm slot aren’t bringing viewers to the tube.  If you’re a fan of “30 Rock” – look for it to find a new home at 10pm in the not too distant future.

And NBC is bringing back Jerry Seinfeld’s “The Marriage Ref” in January – which should give everyone enough time to find a couple of good books to read while they air this show.  As much as I loved Seinfeld – the “Marriage Ref” rubs me the wrong way.  If this is the best that Jerry can do – I recommend that he hang around in the kitchen with his wife and find more vegetables to hide in their kid’s food.

It's Only TV:Dr Drew's Rehab Troubles, The Celebrity Apprentice That Won't Go Away and Sir Paul meets the President

It’s only TV and in this edition – Dr. Drew has some problems with Celebrity Rehab….Brett Michaels is named “Celebrity Apprentice” and now he won’t go away…Paul McCartney gets an award from the President and stirs up trouble in DC..and there’s a bunch of new cooking competition show.  There’s a lot to talk about, so let’s begin!

You got to be kidding me!

Have you noticed something missing from your reality programming line-up lately?   Its America’s favorite train wreck reality show – “Celebrity Rehab” and a new season of it should be on the air, but it isn’t…why?  Believe it or not -- it looks like Dr. Drew Pinsky is having a hard time finding celebrities to do the show.  The somewhat big celebrity names with drug or sex rehab problems – stars like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen and Jesse James aren’t interested in detoxing in front of the cameras for the entire world to see and it’s hard to find even C- and D-grade list celebrities and porn stars that are willing or desperate enough to do a celebrity rehab.  Let’s hope the good doctor keeps on looking for some new celebrities to put through the rehab process, because we don’t need more retreads of celebrities from past seasons shows back for return visits – it’s gets a little tiring. 

Every Rose Has Its Thorn…So Does Being A TV Celebrity

Brett Michaels has got to be kissing Donald Trump’s ass big time while thanking God for sparing him after his recent medical problems – because his career has never been hotter than what it is today.  Let’s be honest about Brett Michaels – the bulk of his career recently hasn’t been as some chart burning rock star who filled the arenas and who’s songs were in heavy rotation on the radio.  The only time you hear his music today are classic rock radio stations playing his hit from the 90s (“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”) when he fronted the band Poison.  The bulk of Michael’s career lately has been on a VH-1 reality show “Rock of Love” – where he has babes vying for his attention ala ABC’s “The Bachelor” (only a bit more rock star sleazy) – this is not the show that careers are built on.  But, someone was watching over his lame ass – and that someone was none other than Donald Trump...

When Donald Trump and his producers were casting last season’s “Celebrity Apprentice”, they needed some sort of crazed misfit celebrity to fill the ranks of contestants vying for “Celebrity Apprentice” gold.  In past seasons, they have cast country music stars as would-be apprentices, now was the time to give a bone to rock and roll community – for the ladies team they brought in Cyndi Lauper and for the men’s team….Brett Michaels. 

If you watched this season’s Celebrity Apprentice – you were probably surprised that Brett Michaels went as far as he did in the competition.  Let’s be honest – Michaels can be somewhat of a buffoon and more of a rock n’ roll character than a true rock n’ roll star.  If all be said and told – if Michaels had not had the serious medical problems that he had (which took place after everything but the season finale of Apprentice had been taped), Holly Robinson Peete would have mopped the floor with him with a take-no-prisoner approach and won Celebrity Apprentice.  But, riding a wave of sympathy for his health problems – there was no way that Trump could not crown him as this year’s Celebrity Apprentice winner during the live season finale.  Hell, for Michaels to even make it to the season finale – which is something that his doctors told him that he shouldn’t attend….pretty much cemented the odds that he would be given him the title, right.

So, Michaels is crowned Celebrity Apprentice and you would naturally think that with all of his medical problems that he would take a breather – enjoy the family, etc.  Fat chance.  From the Apprentice finale – he went and did “Regis and Kelly”, there was a “Tonight Show” appearance and he popped up and performed with the idols on the season finale of “American Idol”…is there no stopping him?  Now, there’s talk that he’s in consideration to fill Simon Cowell’s spot at the judging table on “American Idol”.  If there is a God that watches over television – please don’t make Brett Michaels an “American Idol” judge!  I don’t care if he served as a judge for a season on the country music talent show “Nashville Star” – no more Brett Michaels.  There are enough signature cliché judging comments on the show now (“a little pitchy, dawg), we don’t need a bunch of worn out rock n’ roll clichés to add to them.  Plus, there has got to be someone of more stature to fill Simon’s place than Brett Michaels…if not…pack the show up now and forget about it.

With  A Little Help From His Friends

Leave it to a Beatle to stir things up and piss a few people off.  On June 2^nd, President Obama presented Sir Paul McCartney with the prestigious Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.  The ceremony, which took place in the East room at the White House, featured a who’s who of music from Herbie Hancock to Elvis Costello, Emmy Lou Harris to Faith Hill, Stevie Wonder to the Jonas Brothers and comedy from Jerry Seinfeld.  The concert, which featured all of the musical acts performing either McCartney songs from the Beatles to his songs from his solo career, was recorded and will be aired on PBS on July 28^th.  (I’ll bet you that it airs during one of their beg-a-thon weeks, too, which is something like every other week, isn’t it?). 

Highlights of the night included Sir Paul performing the classic Beatle song “Michelle” for the first lady and the finale of the evening with everyone in attendance joining in and singing the chorus of “Hey Jude.” 

When presented with the award from President Obama, McCartney said, “Getting this prize would be good enough, but getting it from this president…” and he smiled. 

McCartney stressed that we are going through some difficult times and added that there are “billions of us who are rooting for you.”

But it was the comment McCartney made when receiving the award that is pissing a few people off and most of those are in the Republican Party with no sense of humor.  In receiving the award, McCartney thanked the Library of Congress and said, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.” 

Speaking of Jerry Seinfeld

If you’re like me – scratching your head trying to figure why in the hell Jerry Seinfeld was part of the Paul McCartney awards show and presentation at the White House – maybe he was bored and was looking for something to do.  If the truth be told – Jerry Seinfeld probably doesn’t have to work another day in his life (which might explain why he’s lowered his comedy standards to be one of the producers of “The Wedding Ref”).   It has been reported that Jerry’s TV show “Seinfeld” continues to rake in the cash twelve years since the last original episode aired on NBC.  How much?  Believe it or not, The TV show “Seinfeld”  has raked in some 2.7 billion – with a “b” – dollars in syndication and stations are still paying big bucks to get the rights to air the show with no end in sight – which I’m pretty sure Jerry is getting a nice little cut. 

Look what’s cooking?

Attention foodies!  We’re being spoiled when it comes to reality TV cooking competition shows.  Chef Ramsey is back with another season of “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox and its fun just to watch him get pissed off and throw plates of food all about – plus, you have got to admit – his show can get some pretty bizarre contestants. 

Food Network is looking for the next Rachel Ray and Guy Fieti on a new season “The Next Food Network Star”.  I recorded the show, but have yet to watch it, so I can’t comment on how the people competing – although I do I have to say that I haven’t agreed with the final choices that they have made the last couple of seasons.

But the show of all competition cooking shows – the show with a little class “Top Chef” will be returning to the Bravo cable network on June 16^th.  Sharpen your knifes -- this season of Top Chef will be taking place in DC, as in the District of Columbia and you will probably see a politician or two somewhere along the line – but can you find anyone who’s bipartisan in Washington even when it comes to food?  We will find out.

That’s going to do it for now – so – pick up the remote and do a little channel surfing…until we meet again….remember, it’s only TV.

And That Was....

American Idol 2010

I’ve got to be honest with you – American Idol this season was as disappointing as my first (and only) marriage.  With the exception of Crystal Bowersox – the talent pool for this year’s American Idol was about as deep a Paris Hilton Mensa test and about as satisfying as a frozen waffle; and if it wasn’t for this being Simon Cowell’s last season as a judge – there was really no other compelling reason to watch AI this year. 

Last year, American Idol had some exciting performers such as Adam Lambert and Chris Allen – this year it seemed like everyone who came out on stage to perform had an acoustic guitar – which doesn’t bode well for being really entertaining television.  We were spoiled with Lambert last year who showcased not only his talents as a singer but as a performer – this year we got either a coffee house performance or performances on par of a touring Broadway musical cast. 

It is my feeling that Crystal Bowersox was the only Idol performer who really gave everything that they had into every performance of the competition and it was only in the last couple of weeks that Lee stepped up his game, but he doesn’t come close to Bowersox in pure talent. I was pulling for ‘Big Mike’ to bust out – but he just didn’t have what it takes to cross over into that level of ‘I’m gonna blow you away’ and he was lucky to have lasted as long as he did.

Why did American Idol suck as badly as it did this year?  I’m shocked that I’m even going to admit to this, but I feel it all comes down to Paula Abdul and her appearance on this year’s season’s finale made me realize that even more.  With the producers not having signed Paula Abdul to a new contract before the season began – it resulted in producers devoted a lot of time in getting “guest judges” at all of the auditions that they didn’t have their eyes on the real prize of American Idol – the contestants.  I know that Paula’s comments on the judging panel were pretty laughable – but she did provide some kind of glue to the show that was desperately missing this year.

I would be remised in not mentioning Ellen DeGeneres arrival to the Idol stage as a judge.  I like Ellen.  I find Ellen’s daily talk show to be entertaining and there have been some classic comedy moments on the talk show – which really made me look forward to her arrival on the Idol stage, but even she has been a bit of a disappointment this season.  If you were to compare some of Paula Abdul’s lamest comments as a judge to some that Ellen made – Paula comes out more knowledgeable and credible in her comments than Ellen does. 

I’m Not Gonna Watch It…

I wrote a review of the Jerry Seinfeld produced TV show, “The Marriage Ref” and even though it has been a minor hit for NBC – I still refuse to watch it and I don’t give a damn how many marquee names he gets to come on the show to be a ref.  To me, “The Marriage Ref” sucks and when you allow crap like this to get an audience then don’t be surprised the networks throw more crap like this your way.

I have yet to watch Jay Leno since he returned to “The Tonight Show” and was thrilled to see him bomb at the recent Washington Correspondence Dinner.  I’m still of the opinion that Jay Leno stabbed Conan O’Brien in the back after his prime time show failed by going back to the “Tonight Show”.  Sure, Conan’s “Tonight Show” ratings were low – but so were Jay’s when he first hosted the show.  Jay – you should have manned up and walked after the prime time show tanked and not yank Conan out of his seat on the “Tonight Show” – you could have refused NBC’s offer to go back – but you didn’t.

I am also proud of myself that I didn’t tune in to “Good Morning America” or “Nightline” to see them interview Sandra Bullock’s soon-to-be ex-husband, Jesse James.  I don’t think that he can anything that is going to change my opinion of him being the biggest friggin’ douche bag jerk still sucking oxygen out of the air on this planet.  And if Dr. Drew should decide that he might want to get James to appear on an upcoming season of “Sex Rehab with Dr Drew” on VH-1 – I will boycott that show, too!   

What The…..

What the….!!!!!  It’s the only way I can describe how I felt when I visited my local Burger King restaurant and see the signs all over the place for ribs.  Yup, the King is now selling ribs – pork ribs at that – and they aren’t the pork processed ribs that McDonald’s has used for their McRib sandwiches…these are real bone-in ribs.  I have yet to try them – but they are a little pricey – because they’re a lot smaller than the ribs that you might find at Applebee’s.  But, let’s be honest with each other – who really is going to buy bone-in ribs from a drive-through burger restaurant who wants you to “have it your way”? 

With all of that said – that’s going to do it for now.  Until we meet again via the written word....keep the grin above your chin and good thoughts in your head.

It's Only TV -- But Pleeeezzzeeee

Executive Producer Jerry Seinfeld and Wedding Ref Tom Papa)

Bad TV Alert: The Marriage Ref

What do you get when you cross a reality TV show with a game show that’s played for laughs? It’s “The Marriage Ref”, if you were to believe NBC, the network that tried to convince you that Jay Leno at 10 five nights a week was the place to go for comedy.

The debut episode of “The Marriage Ref” (executive produced by comedian Jerry Seinfield) premiered on Sunday after the Olympics closing ceremonies and got some pretty decent numbers in the overnight ratings, only being beaten out by “Undercover Boss” on CBS. The real test of whether this show has any staying power will come on Thursday night when it airs in its regularly scheduled time slot – 10 o’clock (you remember that time don’t you from when Jay inhabited it).

Will “The Wedding Ref” continue to get ratings once it’s away from the Olympics lead-in? Probably not – only because this show is like a flaming turd in a bag that some kid put on your front porch and knocked on your door to see you stamp the thing out with your feet. Hosted by comedian Tom Papa (who’s jokes sound like they written for Seinfeld instead of him) – the show features three guest starts who decide some weird martial issue for laughs. Throw into this mix a real NBC News reporter reading fact points about the issue the celebrity guests are deciding on (which shows you how far NBC News has sunk allowing their reporters be a hired gun on an entertainment program) and there’s Marv Albert with replays (ala the “bloopers”) of the best lines that the contestants had during their argument portion of the show.

One of the reasons Conan O’Brien had such bad ratings during his “Tonight Show” period was because of his prime lead-in show (Leno) dragged down the ratings of the local news – I wonder how Jay is going to like this disaster – known as the “Wedding Ref” as his lead-in? I'll predict right now that NBC will throw in another “Law and Order” repeat in this time slot before “The Wedding Ref” can complete a full 13-week run and if they don't it's because they don't want to piss off Seinfeld.

Dancing With…..

When it comes to television – I am proud to say that I have never watched one episode of the hit ABC reality dance show, “Dancing With The Stars”. Oh, I’m fully aware of some of their past contestants from Jerry Springer to Marie and Donny Osmond, and everyone in between from, their farewell dance appearances on other shows like Jimmy Kimmel, The View and Ellen, but I have never watched an episode of the show.

I find it incredible that the announcement of the “stars” (c’mon are these people really stars – I don’t see a Meryl Streep or Clint Eastwood in the bunch) gets as much publicity as the announcements of such things as the Oscars. Have we lowered our television standards that much to make this show out to be more than it is?

Who is one of the stars that will be on this season of “Dancing With the Stars”? None other than reality star Kate Gosselin herself – minus the ex and the eight kids. Yup, we the enabling television nation – via ABC – will be giving Kate Gosselin another refill on her expired “fifteen minutes of fame” card. You can just about bet your last dollar that someone like “The Insider” or “Entertainment Tonight” will do a piece on whether or not Jon Gosselin is watching his ex dance on the show and we’ll definitely see a segment or two on how her kids are cheering her on as she rehearses her dance moves in Pennsylvania (which was one of the demands that ABC met to get her to do the show so that she can be close to her kids).

There’s No Good News For Local News

When it comes to budget cuts – Detroit television has been able to avoid any real high profile cuts for a long time. Oh, you could see things on the air that looked a little strange – like Channel 4 sending one of their traffic reporters (who they hired in a on-air talent search) out to cover breaking news stories – stuff like that would not have happened two or three years ago – but with the budgets getting leaner in the news room things like that are happening now.

The budget ax has fallen in Detroit at Channel 7 and although it may have surprised a lot of Detroit television viewers – there’s one man who’s happy – and that’s Detroit’s former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Because of the economy and budget cuts made at Broadcast House in Southfield, Michigan – the investigative reporter who made Kwame’s life miserable – Steve Wilson has been let go by the station.

Steve Wilson wasn’t some pretty boy reporter that television news directors put on the screen to laugh and joke with the weatherman or sports guy. Steve Wilson was a hard news reporter who wasn’t afraid to confront a politician if he knew they were lying and he had the facts to back up what he said. Steve Wilson was not the kind of reporter that will read some press release and try to pass it off as news; and the sad thing is – there aren’t too many reporters like him in Detroit or elsewhere in this country.

What happens when reporters like Steve Wilson are let go? Wilson’s hard-hitting news pieces will be substituted with more pre-packaged fluff pieces from the network and other news sources (such as CNN). Instead of Steve Wilson uncovering corruption in city government – you’ll see a pre-packed news story on “Apples – “Will An Apple A Day Really Keep The Doctor Away” or “New Breakthrough in The Benefits of Baking Soda”.

According to a posting on the internet – Steve Wilson is trying to set up a non-profit investigative reporting unit. No one knows where his investigative pieces will show up and what form they’ll be in – let’s just hope that he can figure out a way to keep on doing those investigative pieces that will keep our politicians honest.