Let's Get Real -- A Look At My Favorite Reality TV Shows

What a week for reality TV!  Another season of “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox-TV is coming to a close and it’s hard to believe that any one of the chefs that Chef Ramsey put through the drill this season is capable enough to put polish sausages and nachos together at a local 7-Eleven – but this coming week he’s going to pick one of the remaining two chefs to run his L.A. restaurant with a paycheck of something like $250,000. 

“Hell’s Kitchen” is one of those guilty pleasure reality TV shows.  The premise of the show is the same season after season with twelve chefs of varying skills trying to win the top prize – which is usually being the head chef at one of Chef Ramsey’s restaurants (the ones that are still open and haven’t filed for bankruptcy protection as of yet) – it’s just watching how incompetent these competing chefs are in just being able to complete a service.  Each and every season there is a chef or two that is your basic ‘fish out of water’ who is seeing the big city and bright lights in Hollywood for the very first time.  Then, you have those one or two chefs who think that they know everything who get a rude awakening when Ramsey lets them have it with a verbal tongue lashing.

There’s only one week left to “Hell’s Kitchen” and it’ll be interesting to see who he finally picks to win the whole kit-and-caboodle – but that won’t be the end of the exploits of Chef Ramsey on television – because this Wednesday night BBC America is rolling out another Gordon Ramey  reality TV cooking show.  This time – it’s not just chefs competing to win some outlandish grand prize – it will be restaurants.  Who knows what he has in store for this competition?  The only way to find out is to tune in to BBC America this week and find out – (and to sound cliché) – check your local listings for time and channel.

While I like to watch Chef Ramsey’s reality TV shows – I will admit that he is the master of “junk reality TV cooking shows” – but luckily there’s something out there for the more serious minded reality TV foodie and that’s “Top Chef” on Bravo.  I would love to see Carla Hall for season five win it all – but once I start picking favorites – they’re bound to lose.

A new season of “Top Chef” began last week and the twist to this season is that all of the chefs competing are runners up and just-about-made-it chefs from the previous seven seasons of the show.  Eighteen chefs in all will be competing to win this season’s top prize and the competition is fierce and if you’re a fan of the show – you will already rooting for your favorite chefs.  One thing that all of the chefs this season know is that you won’t be able to give the judges food that taste like crap and get away with it.

Anthony Bourdain has joined Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons at the judging table and he has already pissed off one of the chefs this season with his “spare no feelings no bullshit” comments. I know that I will never ever taste a quarter of the dishes ever presented on “Top Chef”, but I love watching this show. 

Dr. Drew's team at the Pasadena Recovery Center

Another reality show returned for its fourth season last week – “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” (Thursday nights, 10pm VH-1 and at various other times throughout the week) and I love this show.  Watching “Celebrity Rehab” is a lot like slowing down your car near a train wreck – you really shouldn’t be watching it but you’re drawn to it like a moth to a light bulb. 

If you’re looking for some really famous people going through the rehab experience on television for your entertainment pleasure – you’re not going to find a lot.  The biggest star of the bunch would have to be actor Eric Roberts, who has starred in a fair amount of movies and is also well known for being the brother of “Pretty Woman” Julia Roberts. 

Tiger Woods ex-mistress, Rachel Uchitel is another one of the people going through rehab with Dr. Drew, but you won’t hear Tiger Woods name mentioned at any time on the show, although you’ll get an earful of how she has been physically and sexually abused all though her life. 

The biggest human train wreck this season would have to be former 70s heart throb Leif Garrett who life of drug abuse makes Celebrity Rehab season one patient Jeff Conaway (of the movie “Grease” and the TV show “Taxi”) look like he’s a friggin’ eagle scout. 

The asshole of Celebrity Rehab’s season four patients would have to be Jason Davis – the spoil rich grand kid of businessman of Marvin Davis.  In the first two episodes Davis has done his best to piss off one-time model and reality TV start Janice Dickinson with cruel comments her looks and plastic surgery.

Even though Season four of “Celebrity Rehab” is not packed with stars – I feel that this could be one of the most interesting seasons of the show and if any one of these celebs advances to “Sober House” (another Dr. Drew VH-1 show)…I will be surprised.

[Small side note:  If you’re a fan of Dr. Drew – you be able to see him a lot more often than on his VH-1 rehab shows.  Dr. Drew has just signed on to do a nightly talk show on CNN’s HLN network after the beginning of next year.  I’m assuming his show will follow Joy Bahar’s show and air from 10-11pm.]

Well, we all know that there’s nothing more real than what we see on reality TV and I’m going to quit writing this and watch some of it.  What can you say…it’s only TV!

TV's Summer Season is Cooking -- Plus There Are A Couple of Really Funny New Shows

Where does all of the time go?  It’s hard to believe that we’re already half-way through 2010 and in a matter of days it will be July 4th and before you know it – Jerry Lewis is going to be hosting another telethon – is this year is going fast or what??!!!  Before you know it – we’re all going to be bitching about the cold temperatures and how we’re being pounded by cold fronts and snow storms.

Well. It’s been awhile since I have written anything of interest on this blog – and I wouldn’t want to blow that winning streak – so, I might as well talk about something I know nothing about – but love to talk about any way – television.

The Summer TV season has arrived and it’s time that we all took a break away from all of the news on the mess in the Gulf and escape with some mindless television entertainment.  If you’re a foodie – the people who gave you the Food Network have blessed us with another channel – “The Cooking Channel”…a channel filled with a lot of old Food Network programming like “Emeril Live” and some new food shows from their Food Network operations in Canada.  The people who own these two networks are positioning the Cooking Channel for those who love to cook and the Food Network as a reality based food network with cooking competition shows mixed in with the regular programming.  Either way you look at it – it’s a lot of food programs!

If you want to find out how important you are to the Food Network or Cooking Channel – if the program you’re doing has you preparing food with cheap production music that you would normally hear play in the background in porn movie – you’re not that important to these channels.  If they have porn music playing behind your cooking demonstrations – the odds are pretty good that you won’t be asked to compete on “Iron Chef America” or be a featured chef on one of their Food documentaries.        

There is a lot of food competition programming on TV these days.  For over the top dramatics – there’s Gordon Ramsey’s “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox with a bunch of chefs competing to be a chef in one of his restaurants.  The Food Network is back with another season of “The Next Food Network Star” on Food Network, and the classiest food competition show of the bunch “Top Chef” is back on Bravo with this season’s competition taking place in our nation’s capital – Washington, D.C.

Gordon Ramsey is adding another show to his Fox TV workload.  Unlike “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Kitchen Nightmares” – it looks like we’re going to see a much softer and caring Chef Ramsey with the premiere of his new show in July on Fox called “”Master Chef”.  On this show – a slew of chefs will be competing to become a master chef – what they’ll receive once they obtain that title remains to be seen – but there’s one thing that is guaranteed – the show will be entertaining as all hell.

Imagine being a geeky kid in eighth grade – who’s in love with the most beautiful girl in school – but he can only get the attention of a geeky eighth grade girl and you have MTV’s newest comedy “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”.  Now you have got to remember that all of RJ’s friends are complete geeks and nerds….that is until in the middle of a basketball game – in front of the whole school – his basketball shorts are pulled down and his jock strap falls to the floor exposing what is perhaps the largest, you know what, to everyone in the bleacher stands.  All of a sudden – RJ’s popularity takes a turn to something more than just nerds and geeks.  This is one funny show….Monday nights at 10pm on MTV.

Following RJ at 10:30 on MTV is a new show “Warren the Ape” is a spin-off of another live action puppet comedy “Greg the Bunny” that has aired on several cable networks.  “Warren the Ape” is a puppet who’s career has taken a bit of a turn….he’s gone from being an “A” list celebrity to a “D” list and below.  He’s also in “Celebrity Rehab” – complete with appearances by Dr. Drew Pinsky himself – hoping that it might revitalize his career.  If you want to laugh and laugh out loud – check out “Warren the Ape” Monday nights at 10:30pm on MTV.

Betty White continues to be hot hot hot…with the premiere of her new sitcom “Hot in Cleveland” attracting some five million people to TV Land.  The show, which also stars Jane Leeves (“Fraiser”) and Valerie Bertinelli “One Day At A Time”) is about three women from Los Angeles who land in Cleveland and discover that unlike the west coast – men are actually attracted to them and don’t think of them as “old”.  They decide to rent a home in Cleveland and Betty White is the person who maintains the house.  The premise is a bit lame – but Betty White could read tea leaves and make it funny and she does it on this show.  Its premiere episode on TV Land attracted some five million viewers – which is more viewers than NBC had when they tried to unload Jay Leno in the 10pm slot. (“Hot in Cleveland” airs at 9pm Wednesday Nights on TV Land and on CMT later in the week.)

The afternoon TV landscapes is going to look at lot different come September – when Oprah leaves daytime TV to begin a new career on a new cable network – the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).  TV stations that carry Oprah now are looking for programming to put in Oprah’s time slot that will hopefully bring in the same size audience every day that Oprah has been delivering.  One of the shows that is profiting from Oprah leaving daytime TV is another Oprah Winfrey produced program – Dr. Oz.  Beginning in September – Dr. Oz’s show will move from its 3pm time slot on Channel 4 in Detroit to Oprah’s 4pm time slot on Channel 7 – and the show is getting similar upgrades at other stations around the country.

In other TV news:  It was nice seeing Bryant Gumble hosting “The View” last week.  It’s been a long time since we have seen Bryant on commercial television (he still does a show for HBO) and I forgot how good he was and how comfortable his on-the-air style is – especially against some of the screaming and yelling that goes on during that show.

And – one last thing before I leave.  I started out this blog entry by mentioning how quickly this year is going by – well…here’s another shocker for you.  Believe it or not – Beatle drummer Ringo Starr is going to be 70 years old this July.  You heard me – 70 years old!  If Ringo’s 70 – how old does it makes all of us who remember him as one of the mop top Beatles?

It's Only TV:Dr Drew's Rehab Troubles, The Celebrity Apprentice That Won't Go Away and Sir Paul meets the President

It’s only TV and in this edition – Dr. Drew has some problems with Celebrity Rehab….Brett Michaels is named “Celebrity Apprentice” and now he won’t go away…Paul McCartney gets an award from the President and stirs up trouble in DC..and there’s a bunch of new cooking competition show.  There’s a lot to talk about, so let’s begin!

You got to be kidding me!

Have you noticed something missing from your reality programming line-up lately?   Its America’s favorite train wreck reality show – “Celebrity Rehab” and a new season of it should be on the air, but it isn’t…why?  Believe it or not -- it looks like Dr. Drew Pinsky is having a hard time finding celebrities to do the show.  The somewhat big celebrity names with drug or sex rehab problems – stars like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen and Jesse James aren’t interested in detoxing in front of the cameras for the entire world to see and it’s hard to find even C- and D-grade list celebrities and porn stars that are willing or desperate enough to do a celebrity rehab.  Let’s hope the good doctor keeps on looking for some new celebrities to put through the rehab process, because we don’t need more retreads of celebrities from past seasons shows back for return visits – it’s gets a little tiring. 

Every Rose Has Its Thorn…So Does Being A TV Celebrity

Brett Michaels has got to be kissing Donald Trump’s ass big time while thanking God for sparing him after his recent medical problems – because his career has never been hotter than what it is today.  Let’s be honest about Brett Michaels – the bulk of his career recently hasn’t been as some chart burning rock star who filled the arenas and who’s songs were in heavy rotation on the radio.  The only time you hear his music today are classic rock radio stations playing his hit from the 90s (“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”) when he fronted the band Poison.  The bulk of Michael’s career lately has been on a VH-1 reality show “Rock of Love” – where he has babes vying for his attention ala ABC’s “The Bachelor” (only a bit more rock star sleazy) – this is not the show that careers are built on.  But, someone was watching over his lame ass – and that someone was none other than Donald Trump...

When Donald Trump and his producers were casting last season’s “Celebrity Apprentice”, they needed some sort of crazed misfit celebrity to fill the ranks of contestants vying for “Celebrity Apprentice” gold.  In past seasons, they have cast country music stars as would-be apprentices, now was the time to give a bone to rock and roll community – for the ladies team they brought in Cyndi Lauper and for the men’s team….Brett Michaels. 

If you watched this season’s Celebrity Apprentice – you were probably surprised that Brett Michaels went as far as he did in the competition.  Let’s be honest – Michaels can be somewhat of a buffoon and more of a rock n’ roll character than a true rock n’ roll star.  If all be said and told – if Michaels had not had the serious medical problems that he had (which took place after everything but the season finale of Apprentice had been taped), Holly Robinson Peete would have mopped the floor with him with a take-no-prisoner approach and won Celebrity Apprentice.  But, riding a wave of sympathy for his health problems – there was no way that Trump could not crown him as this year’s Celebrity Apprentice winner during the live season finale.  Hell, for Michaels to even make it to the season finale – which is something that his doctors told him that he shouldn’t attend….pretty much cemented the odds that he would be given him the title, right.

So, Michaels is crowned Celebrity Apprentice and you would naturally think that with all of his medical problems that he would take a breather – enjoy the family, etc.  Fat chance.  From the Apprentice finale – he went and did “Regis and Kelly”, there was a “Tonight Show” appearance and he popped up and performed with the idols on the season finale of “American Idol”…is there no stopping him?  Now, there’s talk that he’s in consideration to fill Simon Cowell’s spot at the judging table on “American Idol”.  If there is a God that watches over television – please don’t make Brett Michaels an “American Idol” judge!  I don’t care if he served as a judge for a season on the country music talent show “Nashville Star” – no more Brett Michaels.  There are enough signature cliché judging comments on the show now (“a little pitchy, dawg), we don’t need a bunch of worn out rock n’ roll clichés to add to them.  Plus, there has got to be someone of more stature to fill Simon’s place than Brett Michaels…if not…pack the show up now and forget about it.

With  A Little Help From His Friends

Leave it to a Beatle to stir things up and piss a few people off.  On June 2^nd, President Obama presented Sir Paul McCartney with the prestigious Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.  The ceremony, which took place in the East room at the White House, featured a who’s who of music from Herbie Hancock to Elvis Costello, Emmy Lou Harris to Faith Hill, Stevie Wonder to the Jonas Brothers and comedy from Jerry Seinfeld.  The concert, which featured all of the musical acts performing either McCartney songs from the Beatles to his songs from his solo career, was recorded and will be aired on PBS on July 28^th.  (I’ll bet you that it airs during one of their beg-a-thon weeks, too, which is something like every other week, isn’t it?). 

Highlights of the night included Sir Paul performing the classic Beatle song “Michelle” for the first lady and the finale of the evening with everyone in attendance joining in and singing the chorus of “Hey Jude.” 

When presented with the award from President Obama, McCartney said, “Getting this prize would be good enough, but getting it from this president…” and he smiled. 

McCartney stressed that we are going through some difficult times and added that there are “billions of us who are rooting for you.”

But it was the comment McCartney made when receiving the award that is pissing a few people off and most of those are in the Republican Party with no sense of humor.  In receiving the award, McCartney thanked the Library of Congress and said, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.” 

Speaking of Jerry Seinfeld

If you’re like me – scratching your head trying to figure why in the hell Jerry Seinfeld was part of the Paul McCartney awards show and presentation at the White House – maybe he was bored and was looking for something to do.  If the truth be told – Jerry Seinfeld probably doesn’t have to work another day in his life (which might explain why he’s lowered his comedy standards to be one of the producers of “The Wedding Ref”).   It has been reported that Jerry’s TV show “Seinfeld” continues to rake in the cash twelve years since the last original episode aired on NBC.  How much?  Believe it or not, The TV show “Seinfeld”  has raked in some 2.7 billion – with a “b” – dollars in syndication and stations are still paying big bucks to get the rights to air the show with no end in sight – which I’m pretty sure Jerry is getting a nice little cut. 

Look what’s cooking?

Attention foodies!  We’re being spoiled when it comes to reality TV cooking competition shows.  Chef Ramsey is back with another season of “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox and its fun just to watch him get pissed off and throw plates of food all about – plus, you have got to admit – his show can get some pretty bizarre contestants. 

Food Network is looking for the next Rachel Ray and Guy Fieti on a new season “The Next Food Network Star”.  I recorded the show, but have yet to watch it, so I can’t comment on how the people competing – although I do I have to say that I haven’t agreed with the final choices that they have made the last couple of seasons.

But the show of all competition cooking shows – the show with a little class “Top Chef” will be returning to the Bravo cable network on June 16^th.  Sharpen your knifes -- this season of Top Chef will be taking place in DC, as in the District of Columbia and you will probably see a politician or two somewhere along the line – but can you find anyone who’s bipartisan in Washington even when it comes to food?  We will find out.

That’s going to do it for now – so – pick up the remote and do a little channel surfing…until we meet again….remember, it’s only TV.