Saturday, January 30, 2010

A Little Something About Nothing


It’s time for me to write another entry in this blog – the problem is trying to figure out what I want to write about. It’s been pretty cold in Michigan these last few days. I could write about the weather, but there’s not a lot to say after you establish that it’s cold and I haven’t seen any dogs frozen to a fire hydrant to illustrate just how darn cold it is – so, pick another topic to write about, fat boy.

I could write about President Obama and his State of the Union speech. I said, I could, but I can’t because I didn’t watch it and the last thing I really want to write about is some speech. C’mon – there’s not a whole lot of difference between one State of the Union speech and another State of the Union speech – and even the Presidents who are giving these speeches are pretty much interchangeable.

Next topic.

Maybe I’ll browse through the daily newspaper and see if there’s anything happening locally that might be of interest to write about. Then again… have you see the daily newspaper here? The Port Huron Times Herald is not one of the nation’s best newspapers…it’s so bad…it makes those penny saver newspapers that every community has look like the New York Times…now that’s bad. Plus…there are not a whole lot of things happening locally that’s going to be of interest to anyone. I mean, let’s be realistic, I live in a rural community that’s near a tourist community that’s right across a lake from Canada… and it’s not even a really cool part of Canada either. (Yeah, there are some parts of Canada that aren’t cool and Sarnia, Ontario, Canada is one of them. I don’t see anybody disagreeing with me, so what does that say?)

So, what’s there to write about? I could share my recipe for sugar free sweet kettle corn popcorn. It’s easy to make and tasty as all get out. All you have to do is pop up a bag of popcorn in the microwave…and when you open up the bag…..pour a bunch of Splenda powdered sweetener (the Splenda that is granulated like sugar) and sprinkle some salt over the popped popcorn, shake the bag and then eat. Pretty easy, huh…do you think this recipe will get me a spot on a future episode of Food Channel’s “Chopped” or “Iron Chef America”? Not likely.

I know what I can write about – how about dumb web sites? How about this one -- what do you get when you combine everyone’s love for cats with the most despised man ever to walk the planet earth? You get --- How can you go wrong with a web site that asks you up front – “Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he's going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like "Sieg Miaow"?”

Need a website that’s a total gas – then click on and marvel at an entire website dedicated to what came out of your ass that you always blame the dog for. It’s all here – There’s a link with thirty-one different examples of what kind of farter you are and a link to a piece about farting at work – which I’m sure that everyone who is reading this has done at one time or another. I betcha anything…you’ll probably go to the fart website before you go to a website with kitties that look like Hitler.

If web sites about farts and cats that look like Hitler aren’t your cup of tea – thanks to Google© you can find all sorts of weird and goofy websites and blogs dedicated to things like yo’ mama jokes, pictures of celebrity butt cracks and the dumbest things you ever done. Yup, all you got to do is type your favorite depravity in the Google© search box and within fractions of a second – you’ll have loads of stupid reading material and pictures to pass the time away in front of your computer. I’m sure, thanks to Google© , you can find detailed instructions on how to put in a light bulb, for those are light bulb challenged.

So, there you have it – a blog about nothing when you really don’t have anything to say and now that I have said what I was going to say about nothing – I think that I’ll go and take nap.

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