Going To The Dogs With Rachael Ray In My Quest For Free Stuff

(l-r) Teco, me and Tinker

I’m like a lot people out there who enjoys getting free things.  I haven’t fell victim to the online e-mail hoax where people believe that Microsoft will send them a hundred bucks if you just forward a special e-mail to ten people.  The only reason I haven’t fell victim to this is because I know it doesn’t work – if it did I would have exhausted my e-mail address book sending those “please forward this e-mail” message to my friends a long time ago because I like free stuff.

In my quest for free stuff, I signed up for an online service that sends you an e-mail daily with links for all kinds of free stuff.  I have gotten all kinds of free stuff – like samples of all of Nescafe’s instant coffee blends (which were actually pretty tasty), packets of a vitamin C beverage powder, samples of Splenda and lots of other things that I can’t remember right off the top of my head. 

This week, I received a free sample of something that I was actually looking forward to receiving – a sample of one of Rachael Ray’s dog food products that she talks about on her syndicated show.  The product that I received was “Just 6” – from Rachael Ray’s line of Nutrish© brand of super premium food for dogs – and I was looking forward to serving it to my two dogs Tinker and Teco – unfortunately my dogs were that excited about seeing it in their dishes.

You wouldn’t think that dogs would have a discriminating palate – I mean – dogs sniff each other’s ass, lick their own butts and have been known to actually eat their own shit if it smells right to them – that doesn’t sound like they are too discriminating to me.  My dogs can be fussy though.  They love Old Roy’s Kibbles and Chucks from Wal-Mart and both of my dogs will actually eat their favorite kibbles and chucks and leave their least favorite pieces scattered about around their bowls – that’s discriminating.  I have served them Kibbles and Bits from Purina in the past and they’ll eat it – but they have ways of letting me know that they would rather see Old Roy from Wal-Mart in their dishes and not the more expensive blend from Purina.

I was kind of hoping that when I opened up the “Just 6” packet of dog food from Rachael Ray that my dogs would look at this food as something of a treat – I mean Rachael is selling it as a “super premium” dog food (and, I’m assuming, at a super premium price, too).  The first dog to “experience” Rachael Ray’s dog food was Tinker and her first response once the aroma of the food hit her nose was to rub her nose all around her bowl as if she was burying it and hoping that it would go away. 

When I put a bowl of “Just 6” under Teco’s nose – his first inclination was to back off from it like it was offensive to his sensitive nose (a nose that has never been offended when he’s gotten under the covers when I go to bed at night and have let loose a good ole stinky ass Dutch oven fart). 

Hey Rachael Ray – I appreciate the free dog food – but my dogs think it sucks….but if you’re interested in sending out some more free stuff – I wouldn’t mind a set of your cookware and knifes.  I promise that I won’t bury it in the backyard and I’ll let everyone know how great it is – not only because your products are great – but I like free stuff.

Just Bloggin' Around: My Latest Rants and Raves

New on your supermarket shelves -- and a must-have for any party, get-together or  just plain munching in front of the television set -- pick up a bag of new Ruffles Molten Hot Wings!  You'll thank me for them later.

Hey, if Charlie Sheen can do it – I can too – the following entry to this blog is just me ranting and raving about anything I feel like I want to rant and rave about.  Unlike Charlie Sheen – this isn’t being written by someone who’s brain has been fried with enough cocaine to give every man, woman and child in America a good buzz and I don’t have hookers and porn stars at my beckon call (just a couple of dogs and they’re getting up there in age).

Local TV News

I don’t know how you feel – but don’t you think local TV stations in America have gone a little bit overboard with “team coverage”?  Whether it’s reporting on corruption in local government or severe weather – it seems like TV stations are blowing up a report that could fill maybe five minutes and stretching it out to eternity with special “team coverage”.  It seems like they get all of their reporters zeroed in on that one story that the pool of reporters is so stretched they have to have the blonde traffic reporter go out and cover “real news” which only leads to more embarrassment for the news organization.

And here’s another thing about television news that gets my goat – a newscast is a program that disseminates news it is not “a show”.  I have heard local news people and network people call their news cast “a show” and I could just scream.  If you want me to take your news cast and what you report seriously – then take your own newscast seriously by calling it a news program.  A newscast is a news cast and a show is what Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland did in the old movies to raise money for the war effort or what Ed Sullivan use to host every Sunday night on CBS.  Are you journalists or entertainers?  Journalists inform and entertainers entertain – choose sides and label what you are correctly, please.

Celebrity Apprentice

I know that “Celebrity Apprentice” is not the “must watch” reality TV show that it once was – but like a moth attracted to light – I’m attracted to “Celebrity Apprentice”.  The new season of “Celebrity Apprentice” starts tonight (March 6^th) and it’s a gonna be a doozy with such celebrities as Star Jones, David Cassidy, one of the housewives from the “Real Housewives of…” reality show on Bravo, LaToya Jackson (the only member of the Jackson family who doesn’t have any discernible talent), singer Dionne Warwicke (who is no longer making any money with the psychics, former baseball player Jose Conseco, rock singer Meatloaf and everyone’s favorite celebrity crazy – Garey Busey.     

Ah, Garey Busey – we couldn’t get enough of him on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” – now we get to watch him get all fired up in the boardroom with “the Donald”.  Busey versus the Trumpster – this is gonna be better than Big Time Wrestling.  And, you know that if he last more than one or two episodes of the series – Busey is going to do or say something so outrageous that it will give America a chance to see what Charlie Sheen is going to look like if the drugs don’t kill him. 

Is the Big Gamble Paying Off – American Idol 2011

Is it just me or is this year’s “American Idol” on Fox better than you expected it to be?  Fox had a lot riding on this year’s Idol with some of the biggest changes ever on the show beginning with the arrival of Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler as new judges.  I expected Jennifer Lopez a judge in the Paula Abdul mold who wouldn’t say anything bad about the performers on the show – but Steven Tyler seems to have taken the old Paula Abdul judging approach.  It’s also surprising to see Randy Jackson taking on the Simon Cowell role where everything that he says about the performers is guaranteed to elicit boos and catcalls from the audience members.  Let’s just hope that Randy doesn’t start wearing those tight fitting t-shirts that Cowell use to wear on Idol.  The one thing that Randy doesn’t have is the wit and talent to sling barbs and insults back at Ryan Seacrest like Simon could – but Ryan doesn’t have to fight with Cowell anymore to be the center of attention on the show.

Speaking of Cowell – there are rumors going around that former Idol judge Paula Abdul will be joining him on the panel of his new Fox talent show “The X-Factor” when it premieres later this year.  The “X-Factor” job could not have come at a better time for Abdul who’s dance show on CBS tanked in the ratings and will not be picked up for another season.

Burger King vs. McDonald’s

Anybody who knows me knows that food really isn’t food unless you can order it through a  drive-thru window and it’s handed to you in a bag by some pimply high school kid trying to make a few bucks for weed.  McDonald’s advertising lately has been centering on their McNuggets and their BBQ Chipotle Angus Burger and the advertising has enticed me more than a couple of times to drive through the golden arches and the results of those visits haven’t exactly thrilled me.

Anyone who has read my Facebook status lately knows that I wasn’t exactly thrilled with McDonald’s BBQ Chipotle Angus burger.  If my memory serves me correctly I said that this burger was basically a salt lick between a bun and the barbeque sauce left a bad taste in my mouth and the smell of the sauce on was enough to make one sick.  The ads were right about the sauce – McDonald’s slops a lot of the sauce on this burger (which caused some of it to drip on my shirt) but it’s not enough to save this burger.  If I maybe be blunt – the McDonald’s BBQ Chipotle Angus burger sucks and it’s sad that a cow had to be sacrificed to become my personal “Unhappy Meal”.

Another item that has been advertised a lot on television lately has been the “Stuffed Steakhouse Burger” at Burger King – the burger that’s been stuffed with jalapeno peppers and chunks of cheddar cheese.  The way they described the burger and how it looked on TV and my love of BK’s A-1 Steakhouse burger was enough to get me to take a light fantastic trip to the BK drive-thru window – but it was a disappointing and wasted trip.  If you expect some heat from the jalapeno peppers in this burger you’re going to be let down.  You would expect a burger with all of those chunks of cheese to be cheesy – but you get more cheese taste in their dollar double cheeseburger. 

And let’s talk about chicken nuggets – is it me or has quality control at McDonald’s taken a dirt nap – because I can remember McNuggets tasting a whole lot better than the ones that I tasted recently.  At one time I could make a lunch of a twenty piece McNugget and a side of fries and leave Ronald’s place happy, but not anymore.  There seems to be more batter or something on the chicken nugget that doesn’t make them as tasty as they once were.  If I wanted the taste of batter – I would get to McDonalds in the morning and order a side or two of their pancakes – but I wanted some tasty McNuggets and I didn’t get them.

When it comes to chicken nuggets – Wendy’s spicy chicken nuggets (from their value menu) with ranch dipping sauce and a side of their new natural cut fries with sea salt can’t be beat.  If you haven’t been to Wendy’s lately – it’s worth the trip there just to grab an order of their fries – they are so tasty that you don’t want to drown them with any ketchup

Quick Takes

Frito-Lay is doing some promotion with their Ruffles brand of potato chips and asking people to vote for their favorite flavors online.  They currently have two new flavors on the shelves with one of them being “Molten Hot Wings” and I don’t care what other flavors they throw out there – these chips win hands down.  Ruffle Molten Hot Wing chips actually taste like hot wings and there’s a little bite (not a whole lot) to them too.  If you see a bag of these chips on your supermarket shelves – pick up a bag or two and if you’re interested more in this Ruffles flavor promotion go to www.facebook.com/ruffles.

If you’re looking for cheap buffalo hot wings (along with a delicious hot and sour soup) – take my suggestion and go to Empire Wok on M-21 Lapeer – it’s worth the trip.  Empire Wok is one of the most affordable Chinese buffets in Michigan and their food is delicious and you can’t beat the lunch or dinner prices.  A recent trip to Empire Wok for lunch ended up costing me a little more than sixteen bucks for two people and that’s with a tip included – which is pretty damn affordable.

Well…by looking at the length of today’s blog, I think it’s time for me to say goodbye or as my old friend Dave Barber would end his radio show – “It’s time for me to count my tips and say good-bye”.  So, until we meet again via the written word – keep the grin above your chin and good thoughts in your head.

Another Tale of Frustration: Dealing With DirecTV

On our last visit – I shared with you some of the frustrations that I have been having and I promised that I would share my frustrations with DirecTV and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  As many of you know – and even the casual reader of this blog can easily figure out – I love TV – what I don’t like is when I can’t watch television because of an equipment malfunction and that’s what lit the fuse in one of my recent frustrating moments.

I live in an area that is not served by cable.  Even though Comcast has wired the area everywhere around where I live – they have not wired our street where I live – plus, I wouldn’t have the rat bastards at Comcast wire my home for anything.   So, if I want to enjoy television I have only two choices – hooking up an antenna (which isn’t a great solution because I am miles from a grade A television signal) or hooking up with one of the satellite television providers.  I chose the later.  At one time, I subscribed to Dish Network – but I changed to DirecTV after Dish took one of the channels that we liked and pushed it into the next tier of programming.

I instantly liked DirecTV from the moment that they hooked us up.  DirecTV comes across as a little more professional operation than the Mom and Pop approach that Dish has.  Plus -- with DirecTV we were able to get more channels than we had with Dish and they also provided us a DVR with our service.

I never thought that a DVR was that big of a thing – only because I never owned one – I always looked at it as a glorified VCR – boy, was I wrong!  The pause feature when you’re watching something live has been a godsend for us folks with aging bladders.  With our DirecTV DVR – we can pause through any one of the ka-zillion  prescription drug commercials on the nightly news so we can take a piss and not miss a moment of Brian Williams and the news.  Can the poor folks in some third world country pause the programming on their TV set – I don’t think so! 

Well, you can imagine my frustration on a recent Sunday morning when the picture went out on our DirecTV and my girlfriend went through all of the “do-it-yourself repair” fixes that they tell you to do but to no avail.  When the do-it-yourself fixes don’t work, I know that you have to get on the horn and talk to someone directly about your problem – which is what I did. I was hoping that there was a way to fix it, because I couldn’t bare the thought of losing everything I had recorded that I had yet to watch – such as –

1)                  The last six episodes of last season’s “Rescue Me”

2)                  The last three recent episodes of “Parenthood” and “The Good Wife”

3)                  About a week and a half worth of “Conan” and “The Late Show With David Letterman” (including the episode of Letterman where he admitted having sex with an intern)

4)                  A few movies that I had yet to watch such as “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” and “The Dark Knight”…..

Plus, I had recorded a bunch of different episodes of “Dora the Explorer”, “The Cat in the Hat”, “Angelina Ballerina” and “Thomas the Train” for the grandchildren for when they come to visit.

DirecTV is like every other company that you call in that you have to deal with a bunch of recorded prompts to get you to a live person (who can be anywhere from in your own hometown to Bumfuck, Egypt – luckily DirecTV’s representatives are right here in the good ole USA) And just like every other company’s recorded prompts – you usually end up yelling into your phone receiver because the “prompts” didn’t catch what you told them and you have to go through the whole process again….but 4eventually you will reach a live human being.

When I finally reached a human being on the other end of the line and I told her what my problem was – she went through the whole process of what I could do to fix my DirecTV receiver.  I explained to her that we did everything but put our finger on my head and twirl around the living room and the receiver still didn’t work to which she explained that she would send us a new receiver – this is where the real fun begins.

“Mr. Frost, we can ship a new receiver to you and you can have it in a couple of days,” the DirecTV representative said on the phone.

“And will there be a charge for the receiver,” I asked.

That’s when she went on to say that there would be no charge for the receiver, but there would be a twenty-one dollar and some odd cents charge for the shipping and handling.

“That’s not acceptable,” I responded.  “You’re going to charge me shipping and handling for a receiver that I pay an additional fee for each month to receive programming that you charge me dearly for…I don’t think so.”

And that’s when I was put on hold – which eventually lead to me getting disconnected and hearing a dial tone on the end of my telephone receiver….which meant another phone call back to DirecTV and another ten minutes or so getting connected to a live person and telling that person the whole story.  And like the previous DirecTV representative – they were a little startled when I told them that I wouldn’t pay for shipping and handling for a new receiver….to which I was put on hold again.

When the DirecTV representative returned to the phone, I was informed that they would waive the shipping and handling fee and that I would receive the new box in a couple of days and I could hook up the new box.— to which I confronted them the fact that I would not hook up this box  and couldn’t they send someone to my home to hook it up for me.  I was informed that the instructions to hooking up the receiver are easy and I responded that I don’t care how easy the instructions were – I wasn’t hooking up their box.  I’m of the opinion that for the money that I pay DirecTV each month for programming, it only behooves them to hook up a god-damn receiver for one of their customers.  This DirecTV representative didn’t see it that way – so, I told them that they could disconnect their damn service and I’ll just get my satellite TV programming from Dish.  I was put on hold again….but not for long….but when the “voice” returned – it wasn’t the same person that I was talking to and I had to go through the whole story all over again.

So – the story was retold again for the third time.  My box doesn’t work.  I’m not paying for shipping and handling for a new receiver and I’m not going to hook up the new receiver myself – you can send a service person to hook it up or you can disconnect my service and I’ll go to Dish.  Plus, I added another wrinkle to my frustration – I had been on the phone nearly two hours with them and had been disconnect once and redirected to two other people – with me having to retell my story each and every time.  If I can’t get any satisfaction from you people at DirecTV – cancel me out and I’ll call Dish. 

I was put on hold again – but not for long – and I was forward to another department – the name escapes me right now, but this is the department that they send people that are extremely pissed and only people in this department has any authority to make it right.  This DirecTV representative apologized for all that I went through and told me that they would send a service person to my house the next day and that there would be no charge for the box or the service call – because I have been a loyal customer since 2008.  When I asked him why the first person that I talked couldn’t do what he was doing for me in the way of customer service – he didn’t have any real answer – but he apologized for all of the hassle and the inconvenience.

The next day – a local DirecTV service person arrived at my door with a brand new receiver – complete with a new remote that actually works with the flat screen television that we bought last year….and like all good stories – “and they all lived happily ever after.”

(It should be noted that my DirecTV service is bundled with my telephone service and the day after we received the new box from DirecTV…I noticed something on the DirecTV portion of our phone bill.  A week before all of my hassles with them – they decided to give me three months of Showtime, Movie Channel and Sundance as a “loyalty gift”.  Nice, huh?  If only they had some decent movies on these channels!)

Tales of My Personal Frustrations - Episode #1

The east wall at Dr. McJoke -- where none of these contraptions were used during my visit.

It’s been awhile since I have written anything in this blog, so let’s make up for some lost time and allow me to vent a little bit about frustration.  We all get frustrated – sometimes it over some of the dumbest things, such as when someone cutting you off and stealing your parking space, or going to the store and forgetting to pick up the item that you went to get in the first place, and even something like not being able to beat your best Pathwords score on Facebook can frustrate you..  Me – I get frustrated when I look at what my doctor is charging for an office call and spending two hours on the phone with DirecTV that could have been solved during the first five minutes of my phone call to them.

Recently, I spent a couple of days in the hospital because the pain in my back got so bad that I literally could not walk.  I had to have an ambulance take me to the hospital – which is a little humiliating, because it’s not some life or death reason that I had to go to the hospital – I was simply in so much pain that I couldn’t walk.  I could imagine what some of my neighbors were thinking when they saw an ambulance parked in our driveway and the gossip that they were spreading around to the other neighbors and even family members – and that kind of justified the cost of what the ambulance company was going to charge me for this trip to the hospital.

I have nothing bad to say about my hospital visit.  Not too long after I got there – they shipped me down to X-ray where they took about five or six pictures of my back and then it was back to the emergency room.  In the emergency room – I was given a shot for the pain and the warned me ahead of time that this shot would help with the pain and I would feel it….and they were right.  I have never really dabbled in the drug scene in the 60s and 70s – but if they would have had stuff like this shot back then – I would have signed up for getting wasted and fried back then.  This shot that they gave me in the hospital was great – it’s too bad they didn’t provide loud rock music and a light show to go with it – but then everyone would be going to the emergency room, right?  I know that the tuna sandwich that they gave me in the emergency room was the best tuna sandwich that I have ever had – could it have been that shot they gave me?

After going over the X-rays and the blood that they took from me they decided they were going to keep me – so, I got a nice room to myself on the fifth floor at Port Huron Hospital.  For two days – I stayed in my hospital bed watching television with an IV pumping fluids in me.  And just like any hospital visit – every time that you close your eyes and go to sleep – a nurse will come in to give you some meds or, in my case, shoot some steroids in my IV line.  It was on the second day when they saw me walk down the hall with my cane like I never had any pain in my back at all that the hospital gave me my walking papers to go home.  The hospital readjusted the meds that I had been taking and advised me to see my family doctor within a week…it’s when I went to my family doctor that the frustration began. 

Unlike the medical shows on television – my family doctor is no “McDreamy” – but he’s quickly becoming a “McJoke” and I’m really questioning where I should continue to see him after this last visit.  This visit really wasn’t a whole lot different that my usual visits with him – except – he went over the diagnosis and findings that they hospital sent over to him.  We went over the blood work that I had done a week before (which is something we do every ninety days or so) and he told me that the X-rays at the hospital showed that I have degenerative arthritis and some nasty spurs on my vertebrae – plus I was suffering from dehydration.  The hospital also recommended that I sign up for some therapy and that was the extent of the whole visit to my doctor.  Then – I get the bill!

My doctor’s normal office visit is $125 – PLUS – there’s a charge of $20 for an A1C test and $5 for then to take a glucose reading of my blood (which I already did at home an hour or so before I got it his office, but naturally they can’t accept that reading).  All of these charges come as no surprise to me – it’s what comes next that gave rise to my blood pressure and becoming outright pissed.

Along with all of the charges above – I am also charged an additional $150 – why?  The official explanation goes as follows:  “Prolong Physician service in the office or other outpatient facility requiring direct (face-to-face) patient contact beyond the usual service”. 

When I called his office and talked to the billing department – she, like the good solider that she is, told me that Doctor McJoke thought that this visit was different than previous visits.  I told her it wasn’t longer than any of my past visits and he really didn’t do that much except go over the hospitals diagnosis and give me a script for physical therapy.  The woman in billing said that when Doctor McJoke went over the hospital report – he felt that he was spending more time with me than he normally does and according to his rules or what ever, he can charge extra.  The billing manager sounded a little pissed when I asked her if I should bring a stopwatch on my next visit with to see Doctor McJoke.  She pretty much told me in her official capacity as the head of billing for Doctor McJoke that there really wasn’t much I could do about the extra charge and that’s when frustration set in.

There is something that I can do about it.  One, I can confront Dr. McJoke the next time that I come in to see him and piss him off because I’m bringing up what I have to pay him for his services.  Or two, I can tell Dr. McJoke to kiss my ass and I can find another doctor who’s a little more compassionate about his or her patient’s concerns.  That’s the decision that I have got to make, but in the meantime, I just get more and more frustrated when I think about this whole ordeal.

Next:  Frustration #2 – Dealing with DirecTV.

Let's Get Real -- A Look At My Favorite Reality TV Shows

What a week for reality TV!  Another season of “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox-TV is coming to a close and it’s hard to believe that any one of the chefs that Chef Ramsey put through the drill this season is capable enough to put polish sausages and nachos together at a local 7-Eleven – but this coming week he’s going to pick one of the remaining two chefs to run his L.A. restaurant with a paycheck of something like $250,000. 

“Hell’s Kitchen” is one of those guilty pleasure reality TV shows.  The premise of the show is the same season after season with twelve chefs of varying skills trying to win the top prize – which is usually being the head chef at one of Chef Ramsey’s restaurants (the ones that are still open and haven’t filed for bankruptcy protection as of yet) – it’s just watching how incompetent these competing chefs are in just being able to complete a service.  Each and every season there is a chef or two that is your basic ‘fish out of water’ who is seeing the big city and bright lights in Hollywood for the very first time.  Then, you have those one or two chefs who think that they know everything who get a rude awakening when Ramsey lets them have it with a verbal tongue lashing.

There’s only one week left to “Hell’s Kitchen” and it’ll be interesting to see who he finally picks to win the whole kit-and-caboodle – but that won’t be the end of the exploits of Chef Ramsey on television – because this Wednesday night BBC America is rolling out another Gordon Ramey  reality TV cooking show.  This time – it’s not just chefs competing to win some outlandish grand prize – it will be restaurants.  Who knows what he has in store for this competition?  The only way to find out is to tune in to BBC America this week and find out – (and to sound cliché) – check your local listings for time and channel.

While I like to watch Chef Ramsey’s reality TV shows – I will admit that he is the master of “junk reality TV cooking shows” – but luckily there’s something out there for the more serious minded reality TV foodie and that’s “Top Chef” on Bravo.  I would love to see Carla Hall for season five win it all – but once I start picking favorites – they’re bound to lose.

A new season of “Top Chef” began last week and the twist to this season is that all of the chefs competing are runners up and just-about-made-it chefs from the previous seven seasons of the show.  Eighteen chefs in all will be competing to win this season’s top prize and the competition is fierce and if you’re a fan of the show – you will already rooting for your favorite chefs.  One thing that all of the chefs this season know is that you won’t be able to give the judges food that taste like crap and get away with it.

Anthony Bourdain has joined Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons at the judging table and he has already pissed off one of the chefs this season with his “spare no feelings no bullshit” comments. I know that I will never ever taste a quarter of the dishes ever presented on “Top Chef”, but I love watching this show. 

Dr. Drew's team at the Pasadena Recovery Center

Another reality show returned for its fourth season last week – “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew” (Thursday nights, 10pm VH-1 and at various other times throughout the week) and I love this show.  Watching “Celebrity Rehab” is a lot like slowing down your car near a train wreck – you really shouldn’t be watching it but you’re drawn to it like a moth to a light bulb. 

If you’re looking for some really famous people going through the rehab experience on television for your entertainment pleasure – you’re not going to find a lot.  The biggest star of the bunch would have to be actor Eric Roberts, who has starred in a fair amount of movies and is also well known for being the brother of “Pretty Woman” Julia Roberts. 

Tiger Woods ex-mistress, Rachel Uchitel is another one of the people going through rehab with Dr. Drew, but you won’t hear Tiger Woods name mentioned at any time on the show, although you’ll get an earful of how she has been physically and sexually abused all though her life. 

The biggest human train wreck this season would have to be former 70s heart throb Leif Garrett who life of drug abuse makes Celebrity Rehab season one patient Jeff Conaway (of the movie “Grease” and the TV show “Taxi”) look like he’s a friggin’ eagle scout. 

The asshole of Celebrity Rehab’s season four patients would have to be Jason Davis – the spoil rich grand kid of businessman of Marvin Davis.  In the first two episodes Davis has done his best to piss off one-time model and reality TV start Janice Dickinson with cruel comments her looks and plastic surgery.

Even though Season four of “Celebrity Rehab” is not packed with stars – I feel that this could be one of the most interesting seasons of the show and if any one of these celebs advances to “Sober House” (another Dr. Drew VH-1 show)…I will be surprised.

[Small side note:  If you’re a fan of Dr. Drew – you be able to see him a lot more often than on his VH-1 rehab shows.  Dr. Drew has just signed on to do a nightly talk show on CNN’s HLN network after the beginning of next year.  I’m assuming his show will follow Joy Bahar’s show and air from 10-11pm.]

Well, we all know that there’s nothing more real than what we see on reality TV and I’m going to quit writing this and watch some of it.  What can you say…it’s only TV!

It's Only TV: Dancing With The Stars Goes Shotgun and Other TV News

A New Way To Vote For Your Dancing With The Stars Favorite –

You Just Kill Your TV Set

How many times have you been watching television and what you were watching pissed you off so much that you have wanted to throw a brick through the TV screen?  Or better yet – the program that you were watching pissed you off so much that you wanted to do an “Elvis” and pull out a handgun and kill you TV set with a couple of pulls on the trigger?  Well...someone has done just that and it took Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin’s appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” to put this guy over the edge.

An armed and intoxicated 67-year old Wisconsin man with bipolar disorder was watching “Dancing with the Stars” on Monday night and got a little angry by Bristol Palin’s appearance on the show – so angry that he fired a shotgun at his television set.  His wife got the hell out of the house and phoned the police to report the incident saying that her husband was also threatening to commit suicide.  It took the police fifteen hours to coax this man out of his house and charge him with second degree reckless endangerment and all it took was the site of  Bristol Palin on TV to do take him over the edge.  He felt that Bristol Palin was only on the show because her mother is somewhat famous (i.e.. former Republican candidate for Vice-President of the United States and half-term governor of the state of Alaska – as well as being a soccer mom and a famous Mama Grizzly) and that she wasn’t on the show for her dancing ability. 

Hey, I’m not bipolar, but I have to agree with this guy that the only reason that Bristol Palin is on DWTS is because of her Mother’s notoriety (as well as her being the unwed mother who now preaches abstinence) – the question this guy should have been asking before he blew the shit out of his television set is – how in the hell has she lasted this long?  Any one who has watched the show this season would have to agree that there have been far better dancers voted off this season than Bristol Palin.  I will give Palin credit for have improved herself on the dance floor since week one – but there is no way that she is a better dancer than former NBA star Rick Fox or pop singer Brandy (who was voted off this week). 

Personally, I would like to know who is voting for Bristol Palin?  Trust me – there are just as many people who can’t stand her Mother as there are people who think that she’s actually qualified to run for any kind of public office.  If the people who are voting for Bristol because of her mother – I want to know where the other half is on Dancing with the Star’s voting night?  Maybe Fox News will send out one of their fair and balanced news reporters to ferret out this story and report the truth.  Think again.

Trying To Make Something Old New Again

I was surprised to read on thewire.com about two “new” projects in the planning stages at Warner Brothers pictures.  One of the projects in the planning stages is a remake of the old NBC-TV show “The Man From U.N.C.L.E”.  Nobody has yet to be cast to play the roles that made Robert Vaughn and David McCallum famous – I just got to question why they are even attempting a big-screen version of this TV show.  UNCLE isn’t one of those old TV shows that people get nostalgic about – but Hollywood is also doing a big screen version of the TV show “Dallas” – so maybe they think we’ll see anything these days from television in the 70s and 80s.

The other project that Warner Brothers is working on is a remake of “The Wizard of Oz” with Roger Zemeckis (“Back to The Future” and “Forrest Gump”) on board as director.  No one has been cast for this remake.  I wonder if you’ll be able to watch this new version will be Pink Floyd compactable – like the old version is for some people who like to watch the movie with the sound down and using Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” as the movie soundtrack.

NBC Is Still Having a Bad Year In Prime Time

And They Can’t Blame Leno for This One

I have very few “must see” TV shows and it looks like one of them is about to be a victim of NBC’s incompetence at building a prime time schedule that people want to watch.  It was announced yesterday that NBC will be moving a few shows around in the hopes that people will discover them.  For example – NBC will be moving my favorite show “Parenthood” to Monday nights at 10 against one of CBS’s biggest hits of this season – the remake of “Hawaii 5-0”.  It doesn’t matter to NBC that the audience for “Parenthood” has been building week-to-week against some really tough programming Tuesday nights on ABC and CBS…they’re going to move the show anyway.  All I have to say is “dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb”.  When you have a show that is a fan of the critics and is a marginal hit with the viewers – you don’t move it and make viewers of the show search for it…you let the show build. 

NBC is also going to test how scripted comedy shows in the Thursday 10pm slot will do since their scripted dramas in the 10pm slot aren’t bringing viewers to the tube.  If you’re a fan of “30 Rock” – look for it to find a new home at 10pm in the not too distant future.

And NBC is bringing back Jerry Seinfeld’s “The Marriage Ref” in January – which should give everyone enough time to find a couple of good books to read while they air this show.  As much as I loved Seinfeld – the “Marriage Ref” rubs me the wrong way.  If this is the best that Jerry can do – I recommend that he hang around in the kitchen with his wife and find more vegetables to hide in their kid’s food.

Talking TV: From Andy Dick to a Masturbating Bear...The Whole Truth Tanks While Trailer Trash TV Gets Renewed Through 2014

TV…TV…TV!  There’s lots to talk about…so, put down the remote, grab a cup of Joe and light one up (if you got ‘em)…we got some TV talkin’ to do.

His Name Says It All

One of Andy's more famous mug shots after being arrested

Andy Dick – one of the stars of the sit-com classic “Newsradio” and a frequent target of C-list comedians on those celebrity roasts on Comedy Central; plus – one of the more recent celebrities to have gone through Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab on VH1 has been caught with his pants down (so to speak). 

The website PopEater.com is reporting that Andy Dick allegedly flashed some patrons earlier this week at Café Audrey in Hollywood, California.  It all began when he kissed his male companion on the mouth and then he allegedly exposed his “little Andy” before leaving the Café in what PopEater.com is calling “a drunken stupor”. 

This isn’t the first time that Andy has gotten into trouble with his drunken behavior – all you got to do is Google his name for a list of all of the instances – but who knows – maybe Dr. Drew will give him another shot at cleaning himself up on an upcoming season of “Celebrity Rehab”.

Fans of Andy Dick can look forward to his next “direct to DVD” movie in the not too distant future.  Dick, along with Screech (from TV’s “Saved By The Bell”),  are the two marquee stars in a comedy being filmed in Flint and Ann Arbor titled “Tetherball” – which it will be safe to say will make the Will Farrell’s “Semi-Pro” movie with scenes filmed in Flint look like an Academy Award piece of film making. 

ABC Says, “You Want The Whole Truth?

You Can’t Handle the Whole Truth

When it comes to lawyer dramas on television these days – nobody can touch “The Good Wife” on CBS – but television likes to beat a successful genre to death once they have a hit – so we had a few new lawyer dramas premiere this season.  CBS dusted off  “The Defenders” format from the 60s with Jerry O’Connell and buffoon Jim Belushi and the people at ABC gave us a more original lawyer drama with “The Whole Truth” starring Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney – make a guess which of these two shows just got cancelled?  Yup, it was “The Whole Truth” that just fell under the ax!  It is not known when or where ABC will air the remaining episodes of the series – but they have pulled the show from its Wednesday night 10pm time slot for at least the next two weeks.

Wanna Know What The Weather Is?

Don’t Look To The Weather Channel

Remember when you use to go to CNN to see what the news was?  Now CNN and all of the other ‘news channels’ are populated with talk shows and talking heads with news nowhere to be found.  It wasn’t that long ago that you could turn to the TV Guide channel when you needed to know what was on television – but now that channel is filled with off-network reruns and reality programming.  MTV barely shows any videos – even the Gospel Music Channel is showing family movies and TV shows like “Highway To Heaven”….the only channel that is sticking to what they originally started out as is ESPN, you want sports – ESPN is there for you! 

If you are one of those people who look to The Weather Channel for weather when you want it – you’re going to be in for a big surprise.  NBC/Universal (the current owners of The Weather Channel – which won’t be that much longer since cable giant Comcast has purchased NBC/Universal) will soon be revamping the format with weather-related reality form programming – such as “Storm Stories” and programs like that.  You’ll still be able to get your local weather on the Weather Channel – but you’re going to have to look at the scroll at the bottom of your screen to find out what’s what weather-wise. 

Will Conan Be Seeing A Courtroom Soon?

Conan's Masturbating Bear

Conan O’Brien’s new show on TBS is set to debut on November 8^th (11:00pm with a replay at 1:00am) and he is planning to bring back some of his signature bits and characters that were a part of his years at NBC – such as The Masturbating Bear – and everyone is wondering what NBC will do.  NBC lawyers could go all nuts on Conan and claim that all of the characters and bits that he did on NBC are intellectual property of the network and slap a cease and desist order on him.   

The latest issue of Vanity Fair features an excerpt from New York Times reporter Bill Carter’s new book on last year’s Tonight Show struggle between Conan and Jay Leno and once you read it, you just might understand just why Conan might like to see a confrontation with his old employer in a court room. 

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Conan is quoted as saying, “What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the masturbating bear.’Your Honor, this bear can't help himself!'"

Fans of Trailer Trash and DNA Tests – Rejoice!

If there were ever two television shows that point to a dumbing down of America – Jerry Springer and Maury Povich’s daytime show (you can’t really call these shows talk shows) these two shows would lead the pack.  What is also sad about these two shows is that they are also syndicated around the world for people to see and the impression of the Americans that people is not that flattering.  These shows are going to go away any time soon – as a matter of fact -- NBC/Universal Domestic television has announced that Springer and Maury have been sold to local station groups through September 2014.  I think a blank television screen would be better than these two shows – but I don’t think watching someone find out if he’s the baby’s daddy to be entertainment.

Well…that’s going to do it for this little visit.   Until we meet again via the written word – remember to pay your cable/satellite bill and choose your programs carefully….not that it really matters, because we all know – it’s only TV!  

They Just Don't Make 'Em Like That Any More -- Junk Food From Our Youth

Any one who reads this blog with any regularity knows that I love to talk about food and I’m not going to stray to far from that subject with this entry – but instead of talking about food that’s readily available now – I’m going to take a food journey blast to the past.  Yup, I’m going to talk about food that you just can’t get any more – but we still remember today.

For example:  Anyone who grew up in the 60s and 70s can remember those Banquet Cream Pies in the frozen food section at your local grocery store – they sure were tasty – especially the chocolate cream pies.  The only time that I ever saw them in our house though was when they were on sale for thirty-nine cents at Feke and Yott (Hickory Meat Block) on Franklin Street on Flint’s east side.  I am almost positive that there was nothing in the ingredients of these pies that could be considered “cream” by today’s FDA standards – but nonetheless – these pies with the graham cracker crust sure were delicious.  They gave your tastebuds the illusion that what you might be eating was ice cream – but there was no way in hell that you could get an ice cream pie (with those chocolate shavings on top) for thirty-nine cents – this was a pie that was conceived by the food chemists at Banquet – much like the food chemists at Proctor and Gamble (the soap people) created the potato chip that isn’t a chip – Pringles.

I visited a couple of stores recently to see if I could find a Banquet Cream Pie in their frozen food shelves and, just as I expected, they were nowhere to be found.  Banquet no longer makes them – just like they no longer make those single serving plastic bags filled with frozen roast beef and gravy, chipped beef, chicken ala king and single servings of a salsbury steak and gravy.  Ok, I want a show of hands – how many of you people use to make chicken ala king on toast and with Banquet’s frozen bags of chicken ala king that you pop in a pan of boiling water on the stove to cook (you got to remember – this was pre-mircowave junk food)?  My mouth is watering just thinking about them. 

Here’s another item that they don’t make anymore – Chef BoyArDee’s complete spaghetti dinner in a box.  Remember the box with the box of spaghetti, the can of sauce and a can of the cheese that you sprinkled over the top of the spaghetti – well, they don’t make ‘em anymore.  I have been able to find a kit that is basically a box of spaghetti and a packet of seasoning to put in some tomato sauce to make spaghetti sauce – but not the complete spaghetti dinner in a box that we remember as a kid.  This had to be one of the first junk food dinners put on the market and America ate it up.

(Chef BoyAreDee still makes those box pizzas that I’m that everyone enjoyed eating as a kid.    The pizza didn’t taste anything like real pizza – but we didn’t care – we weren’t corrupted by Little Ceasar’s or Dominos yet and there were pretty darn tasty and most importantly – they were cheap.)

Before I began my radio career, I worked at the 7-Eleven on Franklin and Leith on the east side of Flint, Michigan from 1976-1980.  I could write a couple of blogs about working at 7-Eleven, but right now I want to focus on something that they sold there that you can’t find today and that’s the “Big Wheel Ice Cream Sandwich”.  While regular run-of-the-mill ice cream sandwiches sold for ten or fifteen cents – the “Big Wheel” was what is now called “a premium ice cream confection”.  Back in the 70s – these babies sold for a whopping sixty-nine cents and they were worth every penny.  Imagine if you will – rich premium vanilla ice cream sandwiched between two oatmeal cookies covered with chocolate ….delicious chocolate…not the crappy Eskimo pie kind of chocolate that broke off in pieces…and you had a Big Wheel.  Occasionally, they would ship us a box or two of chocolate ice cream Big Wheels and they would sell out before you could blink an eye.  If you visit a 7-Eleven store around you today the odds are pretty good that you will no longer find a Big Wheel in their ice cream case…because they just don’t make ‘em anymore.

(And speaking of ice cream sandwiches – the best ice cream sandwich ever made (which aren’t made anymore) were Sealtest Ice Cream Sandwiches.  You couldn’t find these sandwiches everywhere – but I use to get my fix for them at Jack’s Trading Post on Franklin Street and Ryckman’s Pharmacy on Chevrolet Avenue and from the ice cream vending machines at the Capital and Palace Theaters in Flint.)

Long before Subway or Quino’s – there was K-Mart.  Remember going to K-Mart or Kresge’s and taking home a bag of three submarine sandwiches for a buck – try finding a K-Mart today that even makes subs – and trust me – you won’t pay a buck for them.  The Super K-Mart in Port Huron still has subs – but they’re something like two for five dollars, but they don’t taste anything like those three for a buck subs from our childhood.  There was something about those Kresge/K-Mart subs – with the carefully measured ham, bologna, onion, lettuce and mustard on a bun that brings back pleasant memories.  For a buck – you could grab three subs at Kresge and share them with your friends in one of the booths in their dining area as you planned the rest of your day downtown.

Here are a couple of other food observations:  Remember when both Mounds and Almond Joy were both made of dark chocolate?  Remember PDQ chocolate (and egg nog) milk crystals?  Remember the Hot Sam’s pretzel stands in the Eastland and Genesee Valley Malls and free chocolate cake on your birthday at Bill Knapps?  And remember when there were Ponderosa Steak Houses just about everywhere in the Flint area (there’s only one left in Flint) and the owner did his own television commercials surrounded by kids?

Well – that’s food for thought for today.  

The Adventures of Juan Williams

Hey Kids!  Whatever you do this Halloween -- don't dress like a Muslim
around this man -- it makes him nervous and scared.

Dear Juan Williams – Enough already! 

Unless you have been living under a rock this last past week – NPR radio commentator Juan Williams was fired because of something that he said about Muslims on Bill O’Reilly’s Fox television show. 

You see, Bill O’Reilly appeared on “The View” recently to promote his new book “Pinheads and Patriots” and as they say, all hell broke loose and life in the free world has changed for all of those in Bill’s orbit.  One of the first things that O’Reilly said on “The View” was that Muslims (not Muslim extremists) flew the planes into the World Trade Center on 9/11 which infuriated Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar enough to walk off the stage in protest.  Minutes after that incident happened – it was replayed on every cable “news” outlet, local news broadcasts, the network nightly news, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ and who knows where else.  The sad thing is – Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walking off their own show isn’t news – its show business.  The President signs a bill – Congress and the Senate vote to do nothing and then recess – The World has been proven to be flat – now that’s all news. 

O’Reilly loves to push people’s buttons and that is exactly what he did on the View and the walk-out only fueled the O’Reilly ego and has given him something to talk about for who knows how long.  I think that O’Reilly has asked just about every guest that he has had on since the View incident to give him their take on what happened.  Dennis Miller chimed in.  O’Reilly brought in ‘the body language’ expert for her take and then in comes Juan Williams.

When O’Reilly asks Juan Williams for his take on the View incident – Juan should have said nothing – because Juan is a news commentator and the View incident is not news – it’s show business – Bill was there promoting his book and he probably would have done a song and dance with the cast of the show if they’d asked him. 

But Williams responds to O’Reilly’s “Muslim” view of 9/11 by saying, “I mean, look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”

Oh, no, Juan, you didn’t say what you just said, did you?  Any time you start out a sentence and say “I am not a (fill in the blank)” and continue on by saying the total opposite of what you said you aren’t – you have just stepped in shit and there’s no way out and this time Juan, your main employer National Public Radio said enough is enough.  Commenting that you get nervous and worried when you see Muslims in full garb at an airport isn’t commenting on the news it’s admitting your racism to Fox News Channel’s biggest show business personality (not newsman) Bill O’Reilly.

I have been fired Juan and sometimes its not pleasant – but you are lucky that you have friends at Fox watching your back.  Yup, leave it to Fox News to take what is essentially an employee/employer issue and turn it into a free speech campaign and vehicle to take government funding out of public broadcasting and you Juan are a willing pawn in the Fox News game (willing because you gladly accepted that $2 million dollar contract on Friday from them).

Juan Williams being fired by NPR is not a free speech issue. Juan Williams is free to talk about all of the fears that he has in life from people in Muslim garb to some poltergeist inhabiting his kitchen cupboards all that he wants, because he was fired because his employers felt he overstep the boundaries of that of a news commentator.  I’m sure there are other news organizations that would have done the same thing that NPR did had they been put in the same situation – Fox News doesn’t feel that way – because as we all know – Fox News is a news organization much like I am a nutritionist.