Talking TV: From Andy Dick to a Masturbating Bear...The Whole Truth Tanks While Trailer Trash TV Gets Renewed Through 2014

TV…TV…TV!  There’s lots to talk about…so, put down the remote, grab a cup of Joe and light one up (if you got ‘em)…we got some TV talkin’ to do.

His Name Says It All

One of Andy's more famous mug shots after being arrested

Andy Dick – one of the stars of the sit-com classic “Newsradio” and a frequent target of C-list comedians on those celebrity roasts on Comedy Central; plus – one of the more recent celebrities to have gone through Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab on VH1 has been caught with his pants down (so to speak). 

The website PopEater.com is reporting that Andy Dick allegedly flashed some patrons earlier this week at Café Audrey in Hollywood, California.  It all began when he kissed his male companion on the mouth and then he allegedly exposed his “little Andy” before leaving the Café in what PopEater.com is calling “a drunken stupor”. 

This isn’t the first time that Andy has gotten into trouble with his drunken behavior – all you got to do is Google his name for a list of all of the instances – but who knows – maybe Dr. Drew will give him another shot at cleaning himself up on an upcoming season of “Celebrity Rehab”.

Fans of Andy Dick can look forward to his next “direct to DVD” movie in the not too distant future.  Dick, along with Screech (from TV’s “Saved By The Bell”),  are the two marquee stars in a comedy being filmed in Flint and Ann Arbor titled “Tetherball” – which it will be safe to say will make the Will Farrell’s “Semi-Pro” movie with scenes filmed in Flint look like an Academy Award piece of film making. 

ABC Says, “You Want The Whole Truth?

You Can’t Handle the Whole Truth

When it comes to lawyer dramas on television these days – nobody can touch “The Good Wife” on CBS – but television likes to beat a successful genre to death once they have a hit – so we had a few new lawyer dramas premiere this season.  CBS dusted off  “The Defenders” format from the 60s with Jerry O’Connell and buffoon Jim Belushi and the people at ABC gave us a more original lawyer drama with “The Whole Truth” starring Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney – make a guess which of these two shows just got cancelled?  Yup, it was “The Whole Truth” that just fell under the ax!  It is not known when or where ABC will air the remaining episodes of the series – but they have pulled the show from its Wednesday night 10pm time slot for at least the next two weeks.

Wanna Know What The Weather Is?

Don’t Look To The Weather Channel

Remember when you use to go to CNN to see what the news was?  Now CNN and all of the other ‘news channels’ are populated with talk shows and talking heads with news nowhere to be found.  It wasn’t that long ago that you could turn to the TV Guide channel when you needed to know what was on television – but now that channel is filled with off-network reruns and reality programming.  MTV barely shows any videos – even the Gospel Music Channel is showing family movies and TV shows like “Highway To Heaven”….the only channel that is sticking to what they originally started out as is ESPN, you want sports – ESPN is there for you! 

If you are one of those people who look to The Weather Channel for weather when you want it – you’re going to be in for a big surprise.  NBC/Universal (the current owners of The Weather Channel – which won’t be that much longer since cable giant Comcast has purchased NBC/Universal) will soon be revamping the format with weather-related reality form programming – such as “Storm Stories” and programs like that.  You’ll still be able to get your local weather on the Weather Channel – but you’re going to have to look at the scroll at the bottom of your screen to find out what’s what weather-wise. 

Will Conan Be Seeing A Courtroom Soon?

Conan's Masturbating Bear

Conan O’Brien’s new show on TBS is set to debut on November 8^th (11:00pm with a replay at 1:00am) and he is planning to bring back some of his signature bits and characters that were a part of his years at NBC – such as The Masturbating Bear – and everyone is wondering what NBC will do.  NBC lawyers could go all nuts on Conan and claim that all of the characters and bits that he did on NBC are intellectual property of the network and slap a cease and desist order on him.   

The latest issue of Vanity Fair features an excerpt from New York Times reporter Bill Carter’s new book on last year’s Tonight Show struggle between Conan and Jay Leno and once you read it, you just might understand just why Conan might like to see a confrontation with his old employer in a court room. 

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Conan is quoted as saying, “What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the masturbating bear.’Your Honor, this bear can't help himself!'"

Fans of Trailer Trash and DNA Tests – Rejoice!

If there were ever two television shows that point to a dumbing down of America – Jerry Springer and Maury Povich’s daytime show (you can’t really call these shows talk shows) these two shows would lead the pack.  What is also sad about these two shows is that they are also syndicated around the world for people to see and the impression of the Americans that people is not that flattering.  These shows are going to go away any time soon – as a matter of fact -- NBC/Universal Domestic television has announced that Springer and Maury have been sold to local station groups through September 2014.  I think a blank television screen would be better than these two shows – but I don’t think watching someone find out if he’s the baby’s daddy to be entertainment.

Well…that’s going to do it for this little visit.   Until we meet again via the written word – remember to pay your cable/satellite bill and choose your programs carefully….not that it really matters, because we all know – it’s only TV!  

TV Frost Bites With Conan, Leno, Kimmel, Letterman and More

(Andy Dick in his "does my ass look big in this" orange jail jumpsuit)

Late Night Frost Bite: The last two weeks of late night television has been exciting to watch. Everyone knew that Conan O’Brien’s “Tonight Show” days were numbered at NBC, but it was how the network pulled the plug on the show and how the other talk show hosts reacted to it that made for interesting viewing.

First, NBC pulls the plug on Jay Leno’s 10pm fiasco and instead of just letting him walk (like they would any other star of any other show), they give Jay the option of doing a half-hour show in his old time slot and then they inform Conan O’Brien that his “Tonight Show” will begin at 12:05 (which would in reality make it the “Tomorrow Show”). How did Conan react? He informed NBC that he wouldn’t do the show if they pushed it up a half hour for he felt that to do so he would be participating in the destruction of a legendary TV franchise. So, now the ball was in NBC’s court and their next move was to fire Conan and rehire Jay Leno to do the Tonight Show once again and that’s when the other talk show hosts got involved in the controversy.

It has long been rumored that there was some bad blood between David Letterman and Jay Leno, but it never became more public than these last two weeks. Letterman has taken every opportunity he could to make fun of NBC executives and then went to work on Jay Leno with some stinging “inside baseball” comments that painted a picture of that Leno isn’t “Mr. Nice Guy” that he wants everyone to believe he is.

One of the more awkward moments over the last couple of weeks happened when ABC talk show host Jimmy Kimmel was a guest on the “10 @ 10” segment on Leno’s prime-time program the night after he did his entire show in Jay Leno make-up. During the writer’s strike of a couple of years back, you would have thought that Leno and Kimmel were the best of friends with each of them appearing on each other’s show – but the whole late night mess at NBC and what was happening with Conan changed all of that. Some of the responses to Leno’s 10 questions had the audience literally gasping and at one point it even looked as if Leno was getting pissed by what Kimmel was saying. At times it was even uncomfortable to watch, only because we usually don’t get to see emotions this raw being played out like this on national television.

Conan did his final “Tonight Show” on Friday and NBC will be re-running some of the programs that he did in the last seven months until their coverage of the Winter Olympics begin.

And Jay Leno – he’s going to be doing what any famous person would do when their career and reputation is damaged – he’s going to appear on Oprah this week. Will Leno be honest about his relationship with Letterman? Will he address his uncomfortable moment with Kimmel on his show? And will he address some of the mistakes that he made going to 10pm? About the only thing that we can expect from Leno’s appearance on Oprah will be that Oprah will throw more softball (questions) at Leno in one hour than your kid’s little league team throws in an entire week.

In the surprise that it doesn’t surprise you news department: Comedian Andy Dick was arrested this past weekend in West Virginia on two counts of felony sexual abuse for allegedly grabbing the crotch of a bouncer in a bar. Andy Dick was recently one of the celebrities “cleaning up their act” on one of Dr. Drew’s VH-1 Rehab shows and is no stranger to things like he’s being accused of doing in West Virginia. In 2008, Dick pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery and pot possession after he pulled down a 17-year old girl’s top at a chicken wing restaurant. My prediction is that chances are pretty good we’ll be seeing Dick on Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab next season – only because he doesn’t have the mojo in his career to warrant an Oprah appearance.

“What you say, Willard?” TMZ is reporting that Gary Coleman, the diminutive star of TV’s “Different Strokes”, was arrested this weekend in Utah on a misdemeanor charge of domestic assault. Like Andy Dick, Gary Coleman isn’t immune to a brush or two with the law within the last couple of years. He recently settled a lawsuit after he allegedly hit a man’s car at a bowling alley in Utah. Then Gary Coleman’s wife was arrested after an incident of domestic violence that was later chronicled when they both appeared on a 2008 episode of “Divorce Court”. And like me, you’re wondering, where’s Dr. Phil when it comes to someone like Gary Coleman….well, Gary’s career doesn’t have enough mojo in it to warrant a Dr. Phil appearance…but it’s big enough to warrant a mention here….what the hell.

Is It The End "At 10" For Leno?

(Photo courtesy of NBC)

If I remember correctly, there was a book published back in the 70’s with the title “If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance…Baffle Them With Bullshit” and on a cold January day in 2010 the people who program NBC are bringing that title to life right before our very eyes.

Some five or so years ago, NBC decided that Conan O’ Brien would be the next host of the “Tonight Show”, but he had to wait until 2009 to get the show. When NBC signed Conan for the gig, Leno was still behind the Tonight Show desk consistently beating David Letterman on CBS – which should have been a clue right then and there that NBC programming executives didn’t know what they were doing. Call me wacky, but it’s hard to find a good reason why you would go and replace a proven commodity in the 11:30 time slot (Leno) with someone whose show features such characters as a masturbating bear and an insult spewing dog (Conan). It didn’t make much sense then and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now.

Leno – being the good company man that he is – went along with the move. As 2009 approached – NBC watched as Leno still got big ratings on the Tonight Show and they knew that they had to do something to keep him under the NBC umbrella after Conan took over the show or risk losing him to the competition.

What was NBC’s solution to keeping Leno? Put his show on five nights a week at 10pm. This is where the "if you can't dazzle them with brilliance baffle them with bullshit" theory really came into play: NBC admitted before Leno's first 10pm show ever aired that it didn't need to big ratings, because the show would be cheaper to produce than a filmed drama. NBC saw it as a win-win….they kept Leno and they had five nights a week of fresh programming at a fraction of the cost. What they didn’t realize was how big this little experiment was going to bomb. Not did Jay Leno's 10pm show get being beaten in the ratings by ABC, CBS and Fox – one-hour dramas on USA, TNT and FX were attracting bigger audiences than Jay. And, if you talked to an NBC programming executive about the 10pm situation – they would deny that there’s a problem.

Now, let’s fast forward to January 7, 2010. Rumors and gossip are coming out of Burbank, California about the future of Jay Leno at 10pm at lighting speed. It all begins with news that NBC has seen the errors of their way and will be canceling the show. The cable news networks and the internet are abuzz with the news – only to have NBC come out and deny that they show is being cancelled and saying, "Jay Leno is one of the most compelling entertainers in the world today.” If you call bombing at 10pm -- Leno is really compelling.

Before night falls though – a new rumor comes out of Burbank. TMZ is reporting that on February 1, Leno’s 10pm show will go on hiatus and return to the 11:30 time slot after the Olympics. (And here’s the big crunch) Supposedly, Conan’s show will follow Jay and Jimmy Fallon’s show will still follow Conan’s -- but will all of the shows still be an hour in length? Dunno. Rumor has it that Leno will be doing a half-hour show and Conan and Fallon will be doing an hour – which doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense, does it? If NBC says they’re giving the Tonight Show back to Jay and they’re only giving him a half hour are they really giving it back to him? I wouldn’t think so. Plus, I think if you cut the Tonight Show down to a half-hour you’re diluting what has been one of television’s most prized institutions -- which is another indication that NBC programmers must be smoking crack somewhere in the halls of beautiful downtown Burbank..

When it comes right down to it....three little words sum up all of the craziness happening right now with Leno, Conan and NBC -- and those three words: "It's only TV".