The Adventures of Juan Williams

Hey Kids!  Whatever you do this Halloween -- don't dress like a Muslim
around this man -- it makes him nervous and scared.

Dear Juan Williams – Enough already! 

Unless you have been living under a rock this last past week – NPR radio commentator Juan Williams was fired because of something that he said about Muslims on Bill O’Reilly’s Fox television show. 

You see, Bill O’Reilly appeared on “The View” recently to promote his new book “Pinheads and Patriots” and as they say, all hell broke loose and life in the free world has changed for all of those in Bill’s orbit.  One of the first things that O’Reilly said on “The View” was that Muslims (not Muslim extremists) flew the planes into the World Trade Center on 9/11 which infuriated Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar enough to walk off the stage in protest.  Minutes after that incident happened – it was replayed on every cable “news” outlet, local news broadcasts, the network nightly news, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ and who knows where else.  The sad thing is – Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar walking off their own show isn’t news – its show business.  The President signs a bill – Congress and the Senate vote to do nothing and then recess – The World has been proven to be flat – now that’s all news. 

O’Reilly loves to push people’s buttons and that is exactly what he did on the View and the walk-out only fueled the O’Reilly ego and has given him something to talk about for who knows how long.  I think that O’Reilly has asked just about every guest that he has had on since the View incident to give him their take on what happened.  Dennis Miller chimed in.  O’Reilly brought in ‘the body language’ expert for her take and then in comes Juan Williams.

When O’Reilly asks Juan Williams for his take on the View incident – Juan should have said nothing – because Juan is a news commentator and the View incident is not news – it’s show business – Bill was there promoting his book and he probably would have done a song and dance with the cast of the show if they’d asked him. 

But Williams responds to O’Reilly’s “Muslim” view of 9/11 by saying, “I mean, look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”

Oh, no, Juan, you didn’t say what you just said, did you?  Any time you start out a sentence and say “I am not a (fill in the blank)” and continue on by saying the total opposite of what you said you aren’t – you have just stepped in shit and there’s no way out and this time Juan, your main employer National Public Radio said enough is enough.  Commenting that you get nervous and worried when you see Muslims in full garb at an airport isn’t commenting on the news it’s admitting your racism to Fox News Channel’s biggest show business personality (not newsman) Bill O’Reilly.

I have been fired Juan and sometimes its not pleasant – but you are lucky that you have friends at Fox watching your back.  Yup, leave it to Fox News to take what is essentially an employee/employer issue and turn it into a free speech campaign and vehicle to take government funding out of public broadcasting and you Juan are a willing pawn in the Fox News game (willing because you gladly accepted that $2 million dollar contract on Friday from them).

Juan Williams being fired by NPR is not a free speech issue. Juan Williams is free to talk about all of the fears that he has in life from people in Muslim garb to some poltergeist inhabiting his kitchen cupboards all that he wants, because he was fired because his employers felt he overstep the boundaries of that of a news commentator.  I’m sure there are other news organizations that would have done the same thing that NPR did had they been put in the same situation – Fox News doesn’t feel that way – because as we all know – Fox News is a news organization much like I am a nutritionist.  

TV's Summer Season is Cooking -- Plus There Are A Couple of Really Funny New Shows

Where does all of the time go?  It’s hard to believe that we’re already half-way through 2010 and in a matter of days it will be July 4th and before you know it – Jerry Lewis is going to be hosting another telethon – is this year is going fast or what??!!!  Before you know it – we’re all going to be bitching about the cold temperatures and how we’re being pounded by cold fronts and snow storms.

Well. It’s been awhile since I have written anything of interest on this blog – and I wouldn’t want to blow that winning streak – so, I might as well talk about something I know nothing about – but love to talk about any way – television.

The Summer TV season has arrived and it’s time that we all took a break away from all of the news on the mess in the Gulf and escape with some mindless television entertainment.  If you’re a foodie – the people who gave you the Food Network have blessed us with another channel – “The Cooking Channel”…a channel filled with a lot of old Food Network programming like “Emeril Live” and some new food shows from their Food Network operations in Canada.  The people who own these two networks are positioning the Cooking Channel for those who love to cook and the Food Network as a reality based food network with cooking competition shows mixed in with the regular programming.  Either way you look at it – it’s a lot of food programs!

If you want to find out how important you are to the Food Network or Cooking Channel – if the program you’re doing has you preparing food with cheap production music that you would normally hear play in the background in porn movie – you’re not that important to these channels.  If they have porn music playing behind your cooking demonstrations – the odds are pretty good that you won’t be asked to compete on “Iron Chef America” or be a featured chef on one of their Food documentaries.        

There is a lot of food competition programming on TV these days.  For over the top dramatics – there’s Gordon Ramsey’s “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox with a bunch of chefs competing to be a chef in one of his restaurants.  The Food Network is back with another season of “The Next Food Network Star” on Food Network, and the classiest food competition show of the bunch “Top Chef” is back on Bravo with this season’s competition taking place in our nation’s capital – Washington, D.C.

Gordon Ramsey is adding another show to his Fox TV workload.  Unlike “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Kitchen Nightmares” – it looks like we’re going to see a much softer and caring Chef Ramsey with the premiere of his new show in July on Fox called “”Master Chef”.  On this show – a slew of chefs will be competing to become a master chef – what they’ll receive once they obtain that title remains to be seen – but there’s one thing that is guaranteed – the show will be entertaining as all hell.

Imagine being a geeky kid in eighth grade – who’s in love with the most beautiful girl in school – but he can only get the attention of a geeky eighth grade girl and you have MTV’s newest comedy “The Hard Times of RJ Berger”.  Now you have got to remember that all of RJ’s friends are complete geeks and nerds….that is until in the middle of a basketball game – in front of the whole school – his basketball shorts are pulled down and his jock strap falls to the floor exposing what is perhaps the largest, you know what, to everyone in the bleacher stands.  All of a sudden – RJ’s popularity takes a turn to something more than just nerds and geeks.  This is one funny show….Monday nights at 10pm on MTV.

Following RJ at 10:30 on MTV is a new show “Warren the Ape” is a spin-off of another live action puppet comedy “Greg the Bunny” that has aired on several cable networks.  “Warren the Ape” is a puppet who’s career has taken a bit of a turn….he’s gone from being an “A” list celebrity to a “D” list and below.  He’s also in “Celebrity Rehab” – complete with appearances by Dr. Drew Pinsky himself – hoping that it might revitalize his career.  If you want to laugh and laugh out loud – check out “Warren the Ape” Monday nights at 10:30pm on MTV.

Betty White continues to be hot hot hot…with the premiere of her new sitcom “Hot in Cleveland” attracting some five million people to TV Land.  The show, which also stars Jane Leeves (“Fraiser”) and Valerie Bertinelli “One Day At A Time”) is about three women from Los Angeles who land in Cleveland and discover that unlike the west coast – men are actually attracted to them and don’t think of them as “old”.  They decide to rent a home in Cleveland and Betty White is the person who maintains the house.  The premise is a bit lame – but Betty White could read tea leaves and make it funny and she does it on this show.  Its premiere episode on TV Land attracted some five million viewers – which is more viewers than NBC had when they tried to unload Jay Leno in the 10pm slot. (“Hot in Cleveland” airs at 9pm Wednesday Nights on TV Land and on CMT later in the week.)

The afternoon TV landscapes is going to look at lot different come September – when Oprah leaves daytime TV to begin a new career on a new cable network – the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).  TV stations that carry Oprah now are looking for programming to put in Oprah’s time slot that will hopefully bring in the same size audience every day that Oprah has been delivering.  One of the shows that is profiting from Oprah leaving daytime TV is another Oprah Winfrey produced program – Dr. Oz.  Beginning in September – Dr. Oz’s show will move from its 3pm time slot on Channel 4 in Detroit to Oprah’s 4pm time slot on Channel 7 – and the show is getting similar upgrades at other stations around the country.

In other TV news:  It was nice seeing Bryant Gumble hosting “The View” last week.  It’s been a long time since we have seen Bryant on commercial television (he still does a show for HBO) and I forgot how good he was and how comfortable his on-the-air style is – especially against some of the screaming and yelling that goes on during that show.

And – one last thing before I leave.  I started out this blog entry by mentioning how quickly this year is going by – well…here’s another shocker for you.  Believe it or not – Beatle drummer Ringo Starr is going to be 70 years old this July.  You heard me – 70 years old!  If Ringo’s 70 – how old does it makes all of us who remember him as one of the mop top Beatles?

Daytime Television

Allow me to bitch and complain a little bit about daytime television. Having worked in the television business -- I am quite aware that what programming that is aired during this day part isn't exactly of high quality -- it's basically mindless brain candy that gives the stations some place to air their commercials. It's also the lowest cost day part in the entire broadcast schedule -- which is the reason that you see the endless commercials for lawyers (that you'd be a fool to let represent you in you were in serious legal troubles), the 1-800-AS SEEN ON TV products category and the home improvement category (the carpet cleaners, furniture companies and window companies). These companies can buy spots during the daytime hours for literally pennies and they end up buying them in bulk so you can pretty much recite these damn ads in your sleep.

It use to be that the daytime schedule was filled with game shows and old reruns -- now it's talk shows and judge shows -- with a sprinkling of shows that not only question the intelligence of the people who watch them, but they make you wonder about the people who appear on them. When you turn on "Maury" -- you know that someone is going to find out that the DNA tests shows that he's the daddy of his sister's baby; and you know that when you turn on "Jerry Springer" that some fat broad is going to show her tits and some toothless a-hole wearing a pair of torn jeans and a dirty wife beater t-shirt is going to deck his daddy who made love to his girlfriend who is actually his first cousin on his Momma's side of the family. Yup, this is the stuff that daytime TV is made of.

Let's talk about daytime talk shows. When I was growing up -- we had a variety of talk shows to choose from: Mike Douglas, Woody Woodbury, Phil Donahue, Merv Griffin, Steve Allen, Della Reese, David Frost, Barbara Walters, and even David Letterman did a daytime talk show for a little while. Today -- who do we have to choose from: There's Regis and Kelly, Ellen, Orpah, Bonnie Hunt, Tyra, Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray and there's even a talk show on Fox that gives a place for Geraldo to stop by and chat about legal opinions on a Friday morning.

If you watch these shows in daytime long enough -- you will find some similarities. Why is it that anytime these daytime talk shows feature a performer doing their hit song they have to show the hosts of the show either dancing or google-eying the performers doing the show live on the air? Hey -- I don't need some kind of certification from Orpah or Ellen that this song and that performer is good I can judge for myself.

Another one of my pet peeves: Can Rachel Ray talk to a guest on her show without having to look at a card to find out what question to ask? Hey Rachel -- I love you -- but you're not someone who's going to ask some serious questions most of the time you ask them what their latest project is and then ask them how important food is in their life -- do you really need to have a card in your hand with the question -- "Do you (or your significant other) cook?" Rach -- throw the damn card away and talk.

And dare I speak about "The View"? Joy Behar actually thinks that just because "The View" was quoted on in the New York Times this past election that played a part with some serious political discourse....pleeeeezzzzzeeeee! Every time they talked politics this past year it was the same old thing -- Joy was the Democrat and Elisabeth was the die-hard conservative voice who wouldn't get off the daily Republican talking points. It was boring and predictable and didn't even make for good TV. If they want to really do some interesting political discussions they should have tried to copy some of the old William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal style arguments from the old "Dick Cavett Show"...now that was some good TV.

Well, I could go on and bitch some more about daytime TV -- but I don't have the time -- I got to go watch Judge Judy yell at some jerk who hasn't paid child support and I hear that someone is going to win the 250 grand on the daytime edition of "Deal Or No Deal"